YOU Don't Get to Call Me a Whore
by MeredithGreyPotter1
Summary: Takes place right after the Whore speach. What happens after Derek calls Meredith a whore? MerDer! There's a meeting at the mediators and several other meetings.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not, and have never claimed to own Grey's Anatomy. None of this is mine, ESPECIALLY, not the first italicized speech.

"_**You** don't get to call me a whore! When I met you, I thought I had found the person, that I was going to spend the rest of my **life** with. I was **done!** So all the boys, and all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared? Because I was done. You left me! You chose Addison! I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what **you** broke._

_**You** don't get to call me a whore."_

Derek Shepherd walked up the stairs and threw open the door, with her words ringing in

his head. She was right. He didn't get to call her a whore. He _had_ chosen Addison. But

that didn't mean he didn't love her. That it didn't hurt to hear about her sleeping with

George, and then to take Doc to the vet and have her come down the stairs, hair mussed,

and wearing a shirt that so clearly belonged to Dr. Dandridge.

And then, what had scared him most, was the Code Black. When he had been told that it

was Meredith holding the bomb, his world imploded. And when he had heard an

explosion, he thought for a moment, his heart literally might have stopped. When he

stepped off that elevator, the only thought running through his head, was to find her, hold

her and never let go. He even had the burning desire to tell her over and over again that

he loved her. But when Addison came out so thankful he was ok, he just…couldn't.

He pressed the up button on the elevator and leaned his head against the cool wall. He

wasn't being fair. He wasn't being fair to him, to Addison, and especially not to

Meredith. He wasn't being fair to him, because he was married to a woman, who he

loved only the memories of. He wasn't being fair to Addison, because he kept making her

believe he was out of love with Meredith, that everything was fine, that his wounds were

slowly being healed. And he wasn't being fair to Meredith, by saying he didn't love her,

and then punching every guy she talked with, and, like she said, basically calling her a

whore.

The elevator arrived, and the last person he needed to see was on it, with her cheery voice

and bright smile. "Hey! So listen, I was thinking we could maybe take Meredith out to

dinner – since we obviously can't have her over to the trailer – and you know, she could

bring a date," "Meredith and I are over." He says pressing a button, and rubbing his tired

eyes. "What? What do you mean, I thought you and her were fr-" "Not anymore." "Why,

what happened?"

Derek pauses and then the elevator bell rings. "See you later." He says getting off. "Yeah.

Later."

"Meredith and I are over." He sighs.

A/N: So there you go, my very first Grey's Anatomy fic. I've been wanting to write one for awhile, but needed the right, "speech" I guess to build from. I have another one coming that I got the whole inspiration from, get this, a dream. I literally SAW my very own, full length Grey's Anatomy episode in my HEAD lol. I MAY, continue with this as I have a few ideas floating around in my head, just let me know! As always please review, no flames please and thank you for reading!

Meredith


	2. We're NOT friends!

DISCLAIMER: I have not, and never will claim to own Grey's Anatomy, because then Shonda Rhimes would get mad and sue me, and that would take time out from writing wonderful episodes.

It had hurt, when he said things were over. It had hurt her even more to agree. She had

heard him stomp up the stairs followed by the sound of the door slamming shut it's fury

resounding through the stairwell, but she was still angry with him, and wondered in a

tone that sounded childish even to her head, "What does _he_ have to be angry about?" As

she ran down the stairs, a few of the tears which she had been struggling so desperately to

keep in managed their way out. She walked to the nurses station where she saw Izzie and

Cristina looking over some charts. "Hey, are you ok?" asked Izzie spotting Meredith's

red eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine." Cristina snorts "Liar." Meredith looks at her "I'm fine!

Really!" she insists. "No you're not." Cristina stretches. "You're upset because you've

just had a fight with McDreamy about why he's been giving you attitude all day."

Meredith stares at Cristina "How did you know?" Cristina looks at Meredith "You mean

I'm right?"

"You mean you didn't really know?"

"You had a fight with McDreamy?" says Izzie. Meredith fumbles for a moment trying to

decide how best to answer the question. "No, it's just…well he….We did….He said

some things, that I didn't agree with." Izzie takes a bite out of an apple. "So. Are you

going to fix it during your walk tomorrow?"

"We're not taking anymore walks."

"Ouch, so this fight must've been real big." Says Cristina. Meredith shuffles through

some charts, still addressing her friends "I don't even know how we're going to work

around Doc, technically he's not mine anymore, so technically Derek can prevent me

from seeing him ever again." She says "He wouldn't do that, he has a heart doesn't he? I

mean he's a surgeon, so he has to have _some_ heart." Says Izzie. "Yeah, well right now

I'm not so sure has a brain, and we all know what kind of surgeon he is." Replies

Meredith. "Incidentally, what _did_ you do to piss him off?" asked Cristina. "I don't wanna

talk about it"

"Oh, come on, why not? You know we're going to find out about it eventually."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, we are."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, we are."

"No, you're-"

"Sure, just like how we didn't find out about you sleeping with George." Says Cristina.

"Or how you were sleeping with McDreamy in the first place." Finishes Izzie. "Enough!

Just because, I don't want to talk about every fight, that Derek and I have, doesn't mean,

that you get the right to try to beat it out of me. Because you're 'Going to find out

eventually!' Maybe, I don't want to talk about it, because every time his name comes up,

people still look at me, like I'm the dirty ex-mistress! That they think our friendship was

just a joke! And you know what? Maybe, just maybe, they were right about that last part.

Because obviously, he can't handle hearing about my sex life, even if it is non-existent at

the moment." Izzie and Cristina both look at each other, clearly wondering if they need to

call psych. "Mer, just slow down." Meredith gives an exasperated sigh "I can't slow

down, I have to get the CT results back for my patient." She grabs her chart and walks

away leaving a very confused Cristina and Izzie behind her. "What _was_ that fight about?"

says Cristina.

A/N: Well, there you go, another chapter in less than 2 days! I'm so proud of myself, lol. I want to thank each and everyone of you who reviewed, and gave me some great encouragement about continuing this. There are a couple of things I want to explain.

I'm not sure who's POV I'm going to be writing this story from, but I thought that it was important to have both Meredith and Derek "break the news" to important people, that they were over, and by Meredith talking to Cristina and Izzie, that basically makes the news spread to the other major characters. After this, the story will spin out more.

For those of you who thought that Meredith's speech was a little over the top, I was kind of thinking of the speech she made in the episode before right after "Bring the Pain" a.k.a "Pick me, Choose me, Love me" episode when she's telling everyone to get out of Mr. Hermann's room. And also, this is really just kind of the way I picture she would react to all the questions. Once again thank you all soo much for reading, please review (once again, no flames please) and I can't wait to see you all again! I'm going to try to get another chapter to you all before the first part of the season finale on Sunday, check for an update, around Friday if you want to. Thank you!

Meredith


	3. Nothing up her sleeve

A/N: Hey everyone! I never do authors notes at the beginning of a chapter, but I'm just reminding you all that everything is the same as it was at the end of last episode (Meredith finding out Finn is "scary and damaged" as well, and George is sorta talking to Meredith again.) Ok, now to the disclaimer and the story.

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT and have never claimed to own Grey's Anatomy, I wouldn't have to do this, and the things I write would eventually broadcasted by a major network and I could call myself Shonda Rhimes. I'm not.

After yet another sleepover at Finn's house, Meredith walked into the changing room at the hospital smiling slightly. Cristina, who hasn't seen Meredith since the day before asks "Why are we so cheery all of a sudden? Did someone get_ laid_?" Meredith smiles at her before opening her locker. Izzie peeks out from around the corner and laughs. "Nope. She just had a sleep over with her….Actually, we haven't come up with a nickname for her animal doctor yet." Meredith pulls back her hair. "And we might not, at least not for awhile yet."

"Come on Mer, it's a tradition!"

"It's _tradition_ for my luck with every McNamed guy, to be just plain bad!"

"You know, she does have a point." Says Cristina. Bailey walks in the room. "Gather 'round people. Alex, per request, you're with Dr. Shepherd, the redhead; Yang, you're with Torres; George, you're with me; Izzie, you're down with Burke; Meredith you're with Neuro-Shepherd. Let's go people!" The feeling of slight euphoria Meredith had been feeling since the conversation with Finn the previous night disappeared. All of the interns looked at her, even George, who had learned of "it" the previous night from Izzie. "We're not even talking, how are we supposed to work on a case together?" She wondered. She trudged slowly out of the room. "Grey! What're you doing? Get your ass in gear, and head down to neuro!" said Bailey "Right away Dr. Bailey." Meredith hurried to the elevator, where as fate would have it, Derek was. He glanced up when he felt her presence, and when he saw her, his jaw set, and he stared at the doors. When they finally opened, they got in and each pressed one button, on each side. They spent an awkward "elevator silence" and when it finally dinged, Derek got off, with Meredith following him. Finally he turned around. "Meredith, what do you want? We're over, done, we don't have to talk anymore, we don't have to be nice. Go, we're over!" Meredith does nothing and looks at him, still breathless from his tirade. Finally she says "Bailey assigned me to your case." And she pushes past him into the patient's room. He stares and walks in after her. "Good morning, Mrs. Noeth, I'm Dr. Grey and this is Dr. Shepherd, he'll be doing the operation." Derek picks up her chart and Meredith begins to recite. "Janice Noeth, admitted for major migraines, and MRI showed two tumors, one pressing against her optic nerve, the other seemingly attached."

"I'm feeling fine, my vision just goes out for a few seconds at a time now and then. The headaches have been going on for awhile but I would just take a couple of Advils and, bop! They were gone!" Derek closes her chart. "Mrs. Noeth, is there anyone you'd like us to contact? Husband, children, close friends?" he asked. "Oh no, my husband died last year. My children live out on the east coast, but I suppose you should give them a call. Could you have my friends Linda and Susan come here? They'd really want to know." She said. "Of course. Well, Mrs. Noeth, your surgery is scheduled for this afternoon and," here Derek looks at Meredith. "Dr. Karev will be scrubbing in." he turns back to the patient. "Until then." He smiles and walks out the room, Meredith following him closely. " Alex isn't your intern!" she hisses. "I know." He looks at her. "And neither are you."

"Alex is with Addison."

"She is my wife. I'm sure I can convince her to switch with me."

"You'll have to go through Bailey."

"Bailey's a resident, I'm an attending."

"Bailey doesn't listen to you!"

"She will if she doesn't want to meet with the chief."

Meredith, who had been walking behind him, stepped swiftly in from of him. "Bailey scares the chief too."

"Well then maybe Bailey will actually listen to me for once."

He starts to turn away but Meredith grabs him. "Is working with me so horrible that you have to switch interns, and threaten to get Bailey a meeting with the chief? I have tricks up my sleeve to."

"You have nothing up your sleeve, however you might want to try looking in your pants."

Derek turned away, Meredith gaping after him. She turned away her eyes misty and she made for the elevator and when she got in George was there.

He hesitates for a moment before saying. "Mer, are….Are you ok?" Meredith shakes her head numbly. "What's wrong?" She struggles to answer. "Derek, he thinks, he , he thinks….He thinks I'm a whore." And now tears are going down her face. "I told him about what happened with us and the he found out about me and Finn."

"But you and Finn haven't even…."

"I know, but he just won't listen, and now he's not letting me scrub in and he's taking Alex instead." Meredith begins to sob in earnest now. "I don't _care_! We're _over_! I don't _care_ what he thinks of me! But it still hurts!" George pats her back awkwardly and he pulls the stop button. After her sobs cease, he pushes the button back in. "Take it easy Mer." She smiles at him. "Thank you George."

A/N: I know, I know, it's not the best, but it was kind of hard to get a "flow" at the beginning and then it literally hurt to write the part about her pants. But it had to be done (please don't hate me!) and the crying in the elevator with George at the end, was kind of…. Reassurance, that everything is getting better between them. And I also decided I had to put SOME medical talk in there, even though I'm not that great with it. And the fight HAD to be in there, because otherwise, they just avoid each other until, what? Derek stops being hard headed and confesses his real feelings to her? It has to come out in a fight I've decided so…whoops almost gave it away! Thank you each and everyone of you for reviewing and keep it up please! I love reading your reviews, every time I get them it's like, "They like it! They really like it!" lol. I am a HUGE Der/Mer fan, and they will DEFINETLY get together in this story…when that is, I don't know yet. Once again, please review (no flames please!) and, I will post another as soon as I get an idea of what's happening in the finale, because I want to keep it as close to the show as possible. Thank you!

Meredith


	4. Meredith?

A/N: Everything picks up right after the Season Finale.

DISCLAIMER: I do not, nor have I ever claimed to own Grey's Anatomy, because if it were up to me, there would not have been a Season Finale. It would have kept going and going and going and going and going and going and….

Meredith stood there looking back and forth between Finn and Derek. She looked at Finn.

He had plans. He was and great guy, and when he looked at her, he saw _plans_.

"Meredith."

Derek. She looked at him. She loved him. She still loved him, in the very same way she had said the night of the big train wreck.

But he was _married_. And before Callie had arrived, _he_ had been asking _her_ what it meant. She, while still dating Finn, wasn't the one who was married, wasn't the one who would have to file for divorce, and wasn't the one who would have to deal with lawyers. Why hadn't he chosen her in the first place?

Because _he_ wanted _her_ to choose _him_. He didn't want to be the one responsible for ending his marriage. Now it was her turn to choose. And she understood for a moment, why it had taken him so long to sign, rather, not sign, those divorce papers.

She looked back and forth between them once more. "I…." Derek stepped forward. "I have to go." She turned and ran down the halls of the hospital. "Meredith!" It was Derek following her again. But this time, she didn't run into a room, because she knew she'd be cornered then. Instead, she took a shortcut, and ran out the E.R. exit. She finally reaches a tree, where she collapses against it, gasping for breath. "Meredith." Derek runs up behind her and places his hands on her shoulders.

"Go Derek!"

"Mer, I just,"

"Go! I can't, I won't choose, between you and Finn! I'm not the one that has to choose! I'm not the one, that has a wife! I'm not the one that's going to end your marriage! If you had picked me in the first place,"

She stepped forward to him now. "You didn't pick me! You didn't choose me! You didn't love me! You don't get to look at me, you don't get to be sick over me, you don't get to try and stop me if my boyfriend wants to give me a ride home! You don't get to ask me, what that, what this, what any of this means!" He looked at her his expression pained. "Go, just go!" she said.

When he didn't move she pushed past him herself. She ran around to the parking lot, where she saw Finn getting into his car. "Finn!" He turned around and looked at her. She looked at him and then gave a small smile. "Can I still get that ride home?"

A/N: I know! So short, and honestly not THE best. And sooo long in between updates, for that I am TRULY sorry. First I needed to see what happened in the Season Finale, then I needed to see what I wanted her reaction to be (I used my own mental screaming at the TV for inspiration, lol), then I had to drag out all my papers and type it up on the computer. This chapter was also a venting of my frustration with Derek ("What does this mean? What does this MEAN? How can you ask HER that?) I almost literally screamed at the TV when that was happening. While this is a MER/DER story, I am going to try and write some more of the characters into it, to make it more LIKE the show (NEVER THE SHOW, I COULD NEVER IMITATE THE WONDERFUL WRITING AND IDEAS OF SHONDA RHIMES & CO.! I DIDN'T SAY I COULD! Lol) and because, I can't really make any decisions on who she chooses, because, while I absolutely ADORE some AU to slight AU fics, I like to keep my writing as close to the current show storyline as I can. I like to think of the Summer writing, as a time, that we don't see the Dr.'s, and this is our time to "spy on them" in a way, what happens when the cameras are turned off (I KNOW that nothing REALLY happens….) As always, please review (no flames please!) and thank you so VERY much for reading. Your reviews make my day. I don't threaten with not updating, because I trust my readers to review **cough cough, nudge nudge** lol. Thank you.

Meredith

P.S. If I haven't already mentioned it, I am going to try to get an update on here ASAP.


	5. Give a welcoming round of applause to

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. If I did, I would, most likely, not have to pay $60.00 (!) for the Second Season Uncut, because I would probably have access to the tapes, or I could get it for free.

"I'll see you." She said smiling. "Yeah. See you." Finn smiled walked away. Meredith turned and went inside the house. Izzie was sleeping in Alex's arms and he was just…looking at her. He looked up and she walked over to them. "Hey." She whispered. "How's she doing?" He looked back down at Izzie. "Mostly she's just been crying. I think that and the days events wore her out." Meredith looked at her friend sleeping peacefully, clutching Alex's coat lightly. She wanted to ask about her decision regarding the program, but was pretty certain that they hadn't talked about it. "Is George upstairs?" she asked. "Yeah, with his girlfriend." Meredith nodded. "Goodnight Alex." She crept forward slightly "Goodnight Izzie." She whispered. She turned around and went upstairs to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. "What have I done? What have I done?" She looked into her own eyes in the mirror. She could see everything she thought, it was actually kind of creepy. "He didn't _choose me_! He doesn't get to ask _me, anything_!" She said. She got ready for bed, and as she climbed under the covers she remembered with a yawn, that she had never found her panties.

The entire staff was gathered in a meeting. "All right people, listen up. As you may well remember, the intern Isobel Stevens, recently decided to quit the program. However, after many of the staffs pleadings, threats, and general orders," Here he looked at Dr. Bailer, who fixed him with her famous stare in return. "She has decided to think about her decision, and will be letting us know, as soon as possible." He glanced at Addison and Derek before continuing. "Due to a recent resignation in the Cosmetology Department, we have been….Given no other choice, but to hire a new attending. He had a very successful practice in New York and is on e of the top five surgeons in his field of work." Derek looked wary and full of disbelief, and Addison held the same emotions, coupled with tension and panic. "Please give a welcoming round of applause to," All of a sudden, the doors burst open.

"Sorry I'm late. The traffic and the time change make it, whew!"

"Dr. Mark Sloane!"

The staff who didn't know of his ties to the Shepherds and Meredith clapped politely, members of the female staff applauded enthusiastically, members of the male staff, were sizing him up, obviously not liking the females reaction to him, but most of the staff who were "more informed" than others, stared in shock.

"Mark, I said leave me alone!"

"Addison, just talk to me! We work in the same building now, we can't avoid each other, even if you want to."

"Yes I can, I have a surgery, and I don't want to be late." Mark sighed as he watched Addison disappear. He looked around until finally, he saw something. Derek at the nurses' station, staring persistently at Meredith, also at the nurses station. He smiled to himself as he felt a plan form in his head.

Derek was deep in thought. Meredith had walked away. Walked away with the _vet_. She just left him there! And now she wasn't even speaking to him. And now Mark was back, for who knew ho long. She had left him for the vet. He sighed. He hadn't _meant_ to make it seem like he wanted her to end his marriage for him! He didn't, he just wanted…."Dr Shepherd." He'd been caught. "Dr. Grey."

"Dr. Shepherd, do you need anything?" He bit his tongue to hold back his automatic response before saying "No." She grabbed a chart and headed up the hall to the elevator, glancing back at him once to give him a suspicious look, laced with longing. Not looking where she was going, she ran into Mark. "Meredith!"

"Dr. Sloane, sorry!"

"No, it was my fault. So, how have you been?"

"Uh, good. Yeah, you know, I'm dating now. A vet. Finn Dandridge. He's my dog's vet. Well he was, my dog died and….You know what? Enough about me. How've you been?"

"Good, good. Aside from the lack of sleep and the jet lag that is." Meredith laughed lightly and Mark chuckled. They got in the elevator together, unaware of Derek craning his head to see them, his face trying it's hardest not to show his fury.

"So, you've been dating a vet?"

"Yeah, he's great."

"Good." "_Maybe good for her, but not good for you and your plan_!" He thought to himself. He decided he'd just have to wait on that. The elevator dinged and Meredith got off. "Goodbye Dr. Sloane."

"Bye Meredith."

At lunch, Meredith weaves through the crowd to find her friends sitting at their usual table. "Ugh, how's your day going?"

"Well, I'm with Burke, so my day has been pretty good." Says Cristina. She appears to be thinking about something for a moment, and then asks "Why, how's _your_ day going?"

"Badly! My patient is whiny, complaining, and a top of the line princess!"

"What's her diagnosis?"

"Leave it to you to want to talk medicine." Interjects Alex.

"I'm still waiting for the labs to get back. She said she's had symptoms of mild to moderate abdominal pain, headaches, and she's been throwing up."

"Yeah, well I'm still with Addison, and now she's got me looking after a patients kid. I'm a _surgeon_! Not a _babysitter_!" Meredith's pager beeped. "I gotta go." She picked up her tray and walked away, passing George and Callie who were at their own table, and seemingly in their own little world as well. She passes Derek on the way out of the cafeteria, and looks at him. He was staring right back before his arm shoots forward and pulls her into a corner. "What were you doing with him?"

"Who?"

"Mark! What were you doing with him in the elevator?"

"It's called riding an elevator. You might want to try it sometime."

"Meredith!"

"What? I'll ride elevators with anyone I want to! Don't tell me who I can't or can ride elevators with, don't insult me and don't call me a whore!"

"Meredith, you've been moving around a lot lately,"

"There you go again, calling me a whore!"

"I didn't,"

"Yes! You did! And I have _not_, been moving around. The last person, besides you, that I slept with? It was George! I never slept with Finn. You assumed I did. And how can I be moving around, when at the moment I'm with one person?" He shakes his head in disbelief. "I'm with one person Derek. Just like you are." And with that she tears herself away from him. He looks after her, pain and slight horror with himself, running across his face. He swallows and things to himself "She never slept with Finn?"

A/N: A nice LOOOOONNNGGG one this time. Well, maybe not sooo long, but longer than they usually are. And thank you to EVERYONE who REVIEWED.

So. Mark is back in the story. I must admit, I've used a little cheat to help get him back. I won't put it here, but if you look in my authors page, there's an address to this awesome myspace site called "Grey's4Ever" or something like that. It is a GREAT place, and it's really helped me out with details. NOTHING that would ruin the show for anybody.

And now….Derek finally knows about Finn. YES! but now I have to come up with a good believable reaction to this piece of news.

One reviewer mentioned last chapter that it's almost like I jumped into writing a post Season Finale fic, like I forgot about Derek being such a jerk in chapter 3. In a way, that person is right. I didn't mention anything going on in chapter 3, because a) The silent elevator scene was perfect, they weren't talking to each other. So nothing really needed to be said at that point. And b) I don't like to give out spoilers (well, I do, but not for my own stories lol) but I will say, that it's going to be thrown in his face at some point in the future. But thank you so much for pointing it out!

As always read and review (no flames please!) thank you so much for reading and I'll try to have another chapter up as soon as I can manage. And don't worry, we're still "spying" just with more details. Thank you!

Meredith


	6. Meredith? Thank you so much

DISCLAIMER: I do not and have never claimed to own Grey's Anatomy. If I did, I wouldn't have to bother with these. Seriously!

"Hey Mer, how'd your princess case go?"

"Pregnant. We're handing her over tomorrow."

"So you're getting a new case?" Asked Cristina.

"Yes, she is." Mark interrupted their conversation. "That is, if you want one." He said to Meredith. Derek flashed through her mind for a moment, but she quickly pushed him out.

"Sure!"

"Great! Patient is in room 3437. Be there in ten minutes. I'll give you time to review the case."

"Thank you Dr. Sloane." Mark smiled at her and walked away. Cristina grabbed the chart out of Meredith's hands and flipped it open. "Wow. This chick wants a whole new look. Breast augmentation, captique injections, rhinoplasty, otoplasty and liposuction."

"How much do you want to bet that this is going to be another princess?"

"Who's a princess?" asked George. "Meredith's new 'plastic case'"

"You've got plastics? Man I would _kill_ for that!" said Alex

"People! What's going on here? Did I say you could have a tea party? Come on, lets move!" yelled Bailey.

Quick as lightning they began to scatter. Meredith walked up the hall to 3437, and found Mark talking to a patient. "Maybe it's more of a midlife crisis." She thought to herself.

"Ah, Mrs. May, this is Dr. Grey. Dr. Grey, this is Mrs. Ruthie May."

"Aren't you just a bit young to be a doctor?" she glanced at Mark. "Both of you?"

Meredith smiled while Mark laughed. "Ok. Your surgery is scheduled for 8:00 AM tomorrow sharp. See you there." They turned and walked out of the room. "Dr. Sloane? That's it? You're not going to make me present?"

"Uh, I see no point in that. You're going to round in the morning aren't you?" Meredith nodded. "So, I'll let Dr. Bailey know that you're with me. And Ill see you bright and early in the morning." He smiled at her and walked away. Meredith looked at her watch. 6:00. She smiled to herself. She was off for the day, and she had made dinner plans with Finn for 7:00. She walked down the hall to the locker rooms, and looked around before she entered them. Other than the fight with Derek, the day had gone relatively well. Even though Mark showing up had been a bit of a surprise, it had turned out to be rather nice having him there, although the tension between Derek, Addison, her and him would most likely remain for quite some time. "Yeah, schedule it for eleven." Shouted Derek as he entered the room. He turned his head and spotted Meredith. "Hey." She looked at him and then away. " I don't have time."

"For what?"

"For you trying to apologize, and me yelling at you because you shouldn't even have called me a whore, to cause you to need to apologize in the first place."

"Meredith?"

"What?"

"How would you like to scrub in on a cranial reconstruction tomorrow at eleven?" He asked flashing her a McDreamy smile. She looked at him before she turned to rummage through her purse. "I can't."

"Why not? Come on Mer, how often are these done _ever_, let alone in this hospital?"

"Believe me, despite the fact that I'm just a little bit angry with you, about _everything_, if I could, I most certainly would accept that surgery."

"Then why aren't you?"

"I already told you, I have someone else!"

"Who?"

Just as she was about to try to lie, her phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hey, are you almost ready?" asked Finn.

"Yeah, I'm going to be there in a few minutes ok?"

"Alright. See you soon."

"Yeah." She hung up and picked up her coat. "I have to go. Bye Derek."

"Meredith!"

"Goodbye Derek!" she called as she jogged down the halls.

Sighing Meredith got on the elevator, for what felt like the millionth time that day. "Hey." She jumped as Addison got on the elevator pulling her out of her thoughts. She smiled "Hi Addison."

"How're you?"

"I'm good, how about you?"

"Good." Addison paused and looked at Meredith before saying. "About the other day, when I was shouting at Derek…. I'm sorry." Meredith gave her a puzzled look. "For what?"

"Well I'm sure you must have been embarrassed. And he did reassure me that nothing was going on so I guess…." Meredith looked at Addison pausing to consider her words carefully. "I'm sorry if we caused you to worry."

"No it's fine. I was jealous when there was no need to be, right?"

"Right." There was a moment's silence and then Meredith asked "So as a friend. How are you doing? With Mark being here?"

"I'm good. Thank you though. For asking. Everybody's just been looking at me like they expect to find me in an on-call room with him, it's…it's annoying really to see, that they can't even hide the fact that they don't believe that your marriage is trying to heal, that they think you're just going to go back to your mistresses." Meredith bites her lip and nods. The elevator stops and they get off. "Meredith?" She turns around again. "Thank you again. For asking."

"You're welcome Addison." They smiled at each other. "Meredith!" shouts Mark as he

opens the staircase door. Just then Derek is getting off the elevator. "Meredith listen I just wanted to let you know that the surgery is going to be at 7:30 not 8:00. Can you be there?"

"Of course! How often does all this get done on one patient at one time?"

Mark chuckled "See you there."

"Bye Dr. Sloane."

She walked out of the hospital, and Mark turned around, his gaze landing on Derek's, which was directed furiously at him. Mark shrugged and turned around, smiling to himself. His plan was going to work.

A/N: Ok. I am reeeeaaaaalllllyyyyyyy sorry about the long wait between chapters. Truly. But I have been really busy lately AND I had a case of writers block.

**I want to thank everyONE who reviewed (cough cough few reviews, I loved absolutely all of them, but maybe more next time if you could, and don't forget no flames? Cough cough )**

**So a lot of conversation in this chapter eh? But it IS a TV show….**

**Ok, that bit with Addison at the end. She's vulnerable. People are always looking at her like she and Derek are falling apart (and, they are, I mean Meredith and Derek belong together they HAVE to fall apart!) but they aren't even giving them the benefit of the doubt. I feel sorry for Addison, she's really trying to make things work, but people aren't believing her. And she's just so tired of it, so when Meredith asks it's kind of like "Thank you. Even though, we've had our differences, the fact that you actually asked, it really DOES mean so much to me." It's like this huge weight is being lifted off her chest, because sometime when you know that one person, even if it's just one person? If you know they care enough to ask, because they know that it must be tough on you, and they do feel genuinely somewhat sorry, it can make you feel so much better.**

**Once again I thank you all for reviewing last time, please do so again this time, your reviews, LITERALLY make my day (no flames please!…lol, who knew I was going to say that?) and I will TRY to get another chapter up ASAP, barring any writers block. Thank you so much for reading!**

**Meredith**


	7. Falling all over the place

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of this. Nope. Sorry. Wish I did though! I really wish I did…. :'( **

"Damn."

"Should I call down Dr. Candelosi?"

"No, not yet." Mark held out his hand for the suture.

"We'll notify her after we close. Then we'll tell the patient."

Meredith nodded. The surgeries in her new "plastic case" had been going perfectly up until now. When they were placing in her breast implants, they noticed a tumor that hadn't been there before. They weren't sure, but the probability of it being cancer, was at least 75, because when they had taken the history earlier, they had discovered that her Mother, Aunt, Grandmother and Great-aunt, had had the cancer, Grandmother and Aunt both succumbing to it. They had tried to stop the surgery, mainly because of the patients health, and also because it would be harder to spot a tumor through the silicone if one occurred. Unfortunately, Mrs. May had been adamant about getting the surgery, insisting that she checked regularly for tumors, she knew all of the risks of having it done, and demanded they do it anyway. The chief had had her sign a waiver but after that there was nothing they could do. "Something wrong, Dr. Grey?"

"It's just….Why would she put herself at that much risk? She knew that if the silicone was put in, there would be no easy detection method…."

"Sometimes we want to do whatever we can to regain the attention to the person we love, whether it be ignoring them, or altering our appearance." Said Mark.

"But she has a family, people who love her."

"Perhaps she felt unloved, because she felt like she was invisible. Perhaps all she ever really wanted, was for someone to just notice her again, and she figured this was the best way to go."

His words echoed in her head. She had done that with Derek in a way. When she had told him about Finn asking her if they were together, she _had meant_ to say the "vet" had asked her out on a date, and that she was going to take him up on it. But she couldn't. It had been on the tip of her tongue, but she decided on something else instead. They were friends, but she had a feeling that something bad would happen. And she was right after all, he called her a whore, which led to a fight, which led to them sleeping together, which lead back to the choosing thing….Again.

"Dr. Grey!"

"Sorry Dr. Sloane."

"It's alright, we're done here." He turned to one of the scrub nurses. "Take her to recovery, notify me as soon as the anesthesia wears off. Completely!"

"Yes Doctor."

He exits the O.R, Meredith on his heels. They wash up in silence and when they finally get out, they walk their separate ways. Meredith walks to the cafeteria, where she grabs a tray and some food, not really noticing what it is, nor caring. She sat down at the table where George, Callie and Alex were already eating.

"Where's Cristina?"

"She's eating with Burke." Answered George.

"How's he doing?"

"We don't know, apparently Shepherd found out that he's having tremors in his right hand. They had to run some labs and they're waiting for them now."

"Seriously? And they didn't find out until now? Did Cristina know?"

"Yes, I did know." Says Cristina sitting down next to Meredith. They all look at her.

"What?" They continue staring and she rolls her eyes. "Burkes down in CT, Shepherd just took him, he's going to be down there for awhile, so I figured I might as well come out here."

"So Burke told you to come out here?"

"Yeah."

Just then Callie gets up. "Alright I have to go, I have a shattered shoulder I need to see to." She kisses George goodbye. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah."

"At the house or…?"

"Wherever."

"Ok." She smile at him and walks away. George gazes after her smiling. "Isn't she great?"

They look at him, like he's gone crazy. Finally Alex gets up saying "Dude…." Before walking away. Just then, all three pagers go off. "911. I've got to go." Says George getting up. "That's Shepherd, Burkes out, they've found the problem and they're going to operate." Says Cristina. "My patient's coding." Says Meredith as she reaches for her tray. "I'll take care of it go!" says Cristina. Meredith sprints through the cafeteria, and once inside the hospital, she runs for the stairs. When she get's to Recovery, the Code Team is there, doing compressions. "What happened, where's Dr. Sloane?"

"We don't know, she was waking up one minute, the next she's coding. We think it might be an allergic reaction to the silicone in her left breast. We just paged him, he should be here any minute."

"I'm here what happened?" Shouts Mark running down the hall. They explain and finally after using the paddles they manage to get her to let out a gasp of air.

"She's back."

"Everything stable?"

"Yes, everything's good."

"Alright, keep a close eye on her, let me know if she codes again, we need to run labs to figure out exactly what went wrong. Meredith, see if you can get Dr. Candelosi down here, we still need to talk to her about the tumor. And notify the husband that he needs to get down here as soon as possible."

Meredith nods and jogs lightly down to the nurses station.

"I need an outside line, and the number for Mrs. Mae, Ruthie May, room 3437?"

The nurse hands her the phone. "Here you go, the number for Mrs. Ruthie May is 1-345-555-6745"

The phone rings, and finally…."Hello?"

"Hi, Mr. May? It's Dr. Grey, from Seattle Grace Hospital. I'm calling because we...need to speak, with you and your wife. So we would appreciate it if you could get down here as soon as you can."

"Well, is anything wrong, were there any complications?"

Meredith pauses. "We just need to speak with you both."

"Ok, I'll be down there as soon as I can get to the car."

"Thank you." She hangs up and pauses for a moment. She feels someone staring at her, and when she looks over her right shoulder, Derek is there. Looking at her. Watching her. But the look he is giving her is different, it's full of betrayal, hurt, and she knew then. "He knows." She sighed, as she watched him walk down the hall to the elevator.

**A/N: Soooooooo sorry about the long update, but, and yes I'm going to pull this card again, even though I know it's NO excuse, but….My life has been really busy lately. This chapter was kind of hard to write, because there were so many ways I could have done it and I couldn't decide on which one I wanted, and then I also wanted it to be reasonably lengthy for you guys, because you deserve it and because it's been so long. Oh, AND I ran out of ink I know I can use any pen, but this one reminds me of one she's used on the show, I really don't know why lol, I had a literal JKR moment….If she can run out of paper writing the seventh book, I can run out of ink writing my…woah, creepy, seventh chapter!**

**I'm sorry that there's not much Mer/Der in here, but I wanted to have more med stuff, plus I think the part at the end is kind of, well ok, it's a tiny bit of a cliff, but it's more of a "Clifflette" actually (lol) and it also leaves you open for a LOT of Mer/Der in the next chapter I PROMISE.**

**I want to thank everyone who reviewed last chapter. So far my story has 11 favorites, 43 alerts, 48 reviews and….Drum roll PLEASE! 9644 hits! Woohoo! But that's a lot for only well, not ONLY, it's still a lot! 48 reviews. So maybe you could find it in your big, big, hearts to leave one? Or many? Even if it's just one worded or two, and I DO accept anonymous reviews (but not flames! Lol, I know, I say that everytime) and I can't wait to see what you guys say! (My friends right, I CAN turn a paragraph into a sentence, look how long this note is!) Thank you so much for reading!**

**-Meredith**


	8. Because I can't HANDLE it!

DISCLAIMER: Now see, if there was even the slightest possible chance that I owned this, don't you think I would have that nice, (what was it) 5 year contract with ABC to write new Grey's episodes? Hmm?

_A/N: You know I don't do these at the beginning unless something needs explaining. This story isn't really from any ones point of view, but I wanted to open with, well, I guess it's the end of Burke's surgery, to see Derek in the O.R, and then from there it goes on. Oh yeah, and I'm giving you all a bit of Mer/Der in this chapter at the end. Nothing to much, just to give you ideas of your own. And hey, I think that's happened at some point in the show too so….Yeah, haha. Also, this chapter is short, because I am giving you the gift of two, in a way to thank you for your patience!_

"Ok, we're done here. Thank you everyone! Michelle, would you close for me?"

"Certainly Dr. Shepherd."

The surgery on Burke had gone well, but they still had to wait to see if the blood clots were completely gone. CT and labs had shown he had what was called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, and it was _incredibly_ rare, with only 4 cases previously documented.

He exited the O.R, and began to wash up. After he was done, he leaned against the sink

with a sigh and rubbed his eyes. "How could she do this to me?" he mumbled. The she he

was referring to of course, was Meredith. She had taken a surgery with Mark. The man

who had led his wife to cheat on him. "Excuse me, Dr. Shepherd?" He looked up to see

one of the nurses, he thought her name must be Olivia, standing in the doorway. "Yeah?"

"We've got a woman with paralysis down in the pit, the Chief said to get you."

Derek sighed and then strode toward the door. "Alright I'm coming." He ran down the

hall and threw open the door to the stairs running down them. When he reached the

fourth floor, he heard hysterical screaming. "That must be the patient." He thought. He

followed the sound until he found her in bed, with her mouth being the only thing that

was moving. "What've we got here?" He managed to shout over the woman's hysterical

screaming. "Miss. Samantha Gratowski, age 24, was in a car accident, immediately after

suffered complete paralysis, with limited movement of the face."

"Shotgun, work her up and down, this is moving way to fast. GO!"

He rubbed his eyes as they rushed her gurney out of the room. He walked to an empty on-call room. At least he thought it was empty.

Meredith was sitting on the bottom bed taking off her lab coat, when she looked up and saw him standing in the doorway. The look he was giving her was full of poison…hurt…pain…anger….So many things, some she couldn't even name. He shut the door and he twisted the lock shut.

He continued to stare at her in the same manner. Finally he spoke and his voice was low with a slight growling behind it. "How, **could you?**" She removed her lab coat and tossed it on the bed. Still sitting she looked up at him and decided to pretend she had no idea what he was talking about. "How could I what? Hello to you too, bye the way."

"How could you!"

"Derek, what did I do!"

"You took…!" he spins around so his back is facing her so she won't see the beginnings of frustrated tears in his eyes. Running a hand through his hair he turns back to her.

"You took a surgery with **Mark!**"

"I-" she couldn't lie. Lowering her voice she said.

"I took those surgeries with Mark, because-"

"Surgeries? As in plural!"

"Derek, would you for once in your life let me finish talking? I took those surgeries with

Mark, because the patient that Bailey assigned me got transferred. I took those surgeries

with Mark, because like the fool I am, I thought that you would realize, it's only work! I

took those surgeries with Mark, because I can't **handle** working with you! I can't handle,

having you watch me and my every move, watching me scrub in, watching me get into

my gloves, watching me open for you, because that's what you always have me do!

Watching me scrub out, watching me walk away from you after you try to talk to me! I

can't handle it because-"

"Um, excuse me is everything alright in there?"

Meredith walks forward and throws open the door pushing Derek behind it. She smiles "Hi, Debbie. Everything's fine, I'm just…fighting on the phone with my boyfriend. Sorry about the noise, I'll try to keep it down."

Debbie peered suspiciously at her over her glasses. "Oh. Whatever you say Dr. Grey."

And she walked away. Sighing Meredith shut the door. "Derek I-" she was cut off when

he suddenly kissed her. He pressed her into the back of the door and she was too startled

to stop him. She vaguely remembered something about an argument, surgeries and Mark,

but those thoughts soon drifted out of her mind as Derek's hand skimmed the bottom of

her Scrub top….

**A/N: Thank you to ALL of the reviews that I received last chapter. Even the flame. And that person did give an interesting point, I do say "No flames", not "No constructive criticism." I am MORE THAN HAPPY to take constructive criticism, because I DO WANT TO IMPROVE MY WRITING. Most flames, are just "Boo, you suck!", "You're a sucky ass writer! You never should write again EVER!" etc. But thank you, for your input, it helped me to make sure that my readers do know that I want constructive criticism. And I do make it a point, that people know that I do have SOME idea about what I'm saying, as I do research on the internet, but I don't claim to be a Neurosurgeon, a Cardiac specialist, or even a Nurse. EVER! And also not everyone knows piles of medical terminology so it's best just to pick simple cases and simple terms stuff that everyone knows, because when you're trying to read a story you don't want to be squinting at the screen trying to figure out complex words, read a couple "human" ones and then go back to the ones that leave you tongue tied. I can see how this note can be seen as a bitter childish retort but it's not. The last point I want to make, is that it's a sad, sad day, when people think that you cannot give constructive criticism without it being put into a flame.**

**As always I love you all and thank you so much for the reviews and I am EXTREMELY SORRY about the long update wait, but to be truthful, I was watching a sport, and that review got me down for awhile (which I'm sure is what they wanted hahaha, but it's ok) Also, if anyone is interested in being a beta reader, I would really appreciate it. If you're interested just let me know in your review, or PM me. Unfortunately, you can only be a beta if you're a member of because my email isn't working right now, so I would need to send the chapter to you through PM (I'm so sorry!) Sorry about the long note, but this all really needed to be said. Er, typed :) Thank you and keep on reading!**

**-Meredith**

**P.S. I am also sorry if this chapter seemed choppy but as you can tell, I took a break writing because of that review and other things that I needed to do, so it was kind of hard to get back into the flow of things.**


	9. I'm afraid I won't love him anymore

**Disclaimer: Now really. If I owned any of this, don't you think I would know all the amazing cast, writers, directors, producers etc. IN PERSON? I thought so. Oh and yay! The second season is now down to forty three dollars! YIPEE! Oh and YAY! Ellen Pompeo and Patrick Dempsey are "for" New York and Company! Yay! I'm going to buy everything she's wearing in all the ads haha.**

BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP.

Meredith's head shot up at the sound of a pager going off. Beside her, Derek stirred and pulled her closer, nuzzling her neck. She fumbled around until she finally picked up their pagers. Groaning she dropped her head back onto the bed.

"Derek."

"Mmmmmm…."

She tried a little louder this time.

"Derek."

No response

"DEREK."

"Mmmm, what?"

"You have to go. I have to go. We both have to go."

"Mmm, says who?"

"Your wife, and Mark."

He looked up at her, his brow creased in confusion.

"They're paging us."

Sighing he nodded. They got up and began to get dressed. Meredith clipped her I.D to her scrub pocket but before she could walk out the door, Derek grabbed her arm.

"Meredith. What does this mean?"

She looked at him with disbelief. He was doing this again. She was about to say nothing, when she looked at his face. Really, looked. He was so lost, and sad but there was a bit of hope and longing buried in his eyes. She knew that it meant something. He had cheated on his wife with her, and she had cheated on the "Vet" but for a little bit it was almost as if they had been back together. Addison and Finn just disappeared. She shook some sense into herself. She **knew** that it couldn't have meant nothing. She knew that she still loved him. She loved him so much. She bit her lip and moved her head slowly. "I don't know." She replied honestly. She took her arm out of his grip and opened the door. "Meredith." She looked back and he tossed her the lab coat that had lain forgotten on the floor. She spared him a small smile and walked out the door. Getting in the elevator she saw Cristina leaning against the wall with her eyes closed. "Hey." She opened her eyes.

"How's Burke?" Cristina rubbed her eyes and stretched replying "He's still in recovery, we don't know if the tremors have stopped."

"Are you okay?"

"You know, why does everyone keep asking me that? Burke got shot, I saved the shooters pathetic, miserable life and in the end they found the problem, he got operated on, he's going to get better, and things will just, go back to how they used to be!" She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall again. Meredith surveyed her for a moment before pulling the elevator's stop button. Cristina looked at her "What did you do that for?" She asked. "Cristina. What's going on with you?"

"What do you mean? Nothing's going on with me."

"Something. Is. Going. On. With. You. What is it?" Cristina let out a frustrated sound and her eyes snapped over to Meredith "Mer, nothing is going on! I'm fine!"

"**Something** is the matter with you! Tell me what it is!"

"**NO!**" Cristina shouted. She sighed and turned her forehead to the wall. With her voice shaking she said "I can't tell you because…. I can't tell you because then I have to face the fact that everything might not be okay in the end." Meredith walked up behind her and placed her hand on her shoulder carefully. "You can tell me Cristina. I'm your person."

Cristina turned around and slid down the wall to sit on the floor and Meredith sat next to her. "Burke…. Burke wasn't the best in Med school. He wasn't like me, he was more like I don't know, maybe George. He had to work to get where he is today, it didn't come naturally." She swallowed before continuing and she looked up at Meredith "If he can't be a surgeon after this, I'm afraid that I won't be able to love him anymore." She finished mouth trembling trying to keep control.

They waited there a few minutes and when Cristina let out a big breath and nodded her head, Meredith got up and pressed the button back in. Standing up Cristina asked "Why does everything happen in the elevators of this hospital?" Meredith looked at her slightly amused "Does this happen to you a lot?"

"You make out with McDreamy, Alex loses his nerve causing **George** to do open heart surgery-"

"Things do seem to happen here don't they?" Meredith remarked laughing. Finally the elevator stopped and they both got off. Meredith walked over to Mark who was talking to Mrs. May's husband. "Dr. Sloane?"

"Dr. Grey this is Mrs. May's husband"

Mr. May gave a brittle smile and extended his hand "Nice to meet you Dr. Grey." She smiled and shook his hand. Mark explained "I was just telling Mr. May what happened with his wife. Apparently there **was** an allergic reaction to the silicone we implanted as well as the casing, however since Mrs. May didn't mention any allergies, medicinal or non, we had no way of knowing, and fortunately Mr. May has decided not to hold us responsible."

Meredith nodded "Would you like to see your wife?"

"Um….. Yes. Yes, I would like that very much."

"Alright, Dr. Grey, why don't you show him where she is and we'll discuss further action

in the near future."

A/N: Yeah I know, kind of an odd place to end it, but I didn't really want to go into the whole visit with his wife, I mean, it's not really important to the story, and I have some other things that I could have thrown in, but I think I'll save them for the next chapter which COULD be very soon depending on a) reviews (haha had to put that, you know I did!) and b) life. But since I have the ideas it shouldn't be too hard for me to whip something decent up for you guys.

**Ok the Cristina breaking down part was kind of hard for me to write because I usually don't write Cristina, much less an…emotionally fragile one. But then again, the writers don't really get to do that either so…. I did my best by observing what went on during the Season Finale with her, so I'm really sorry if it's not any good. I hope this double update makes up for some stuff and it would have been up last week, except that this chapter wasn't written. Haha, as always thank you to my amazing reviewers, I love you all! The rules: Please review, NO flames, AS ALWAYS constructive criticism is welcome, thanks so much for reading and keep on please!**

**Plans for future chapters: I'm going to delve into the whole Ellis/Thatcher/Richard thing through Meredith's eyes from when she was a child, things will get cleared up with Finn/Meredith/Derek/Addison/Mark fairly soon I should think, more about Burke if I can find stuff, more stuff with Cristina as well (possibly involving Burke in some scenes) oh and I can't forget about Izzie! Now what IS she doing while she's making her decision? Is Alex helping her? How are George and Meredith avoiding setting off her emotional bomb at home and are they even doing it well?**

**Once again thanks so much for reading both chapters, and please review both of them if you can, but I suppose it's not really necessary (I'm awfully repetitive aren't I? Haha)**

**Thanks!**

**-Meredith**


	10. Whose Panties? RIP SI

**DISCLAIMER: I just LOVE these don't you? It gives me a new opportunity each time, to come up with a fun way to crush my soul, and in the end, basically say that I DON'T OWN ANY OF IT! **

**Ok guys, these first few sentences are kind of odd, and semi-descriptive, but if you remember what I said I had in store for these next chapters, than well…. You should take a guess as to what's going on P. And yeah the opening scene is kind of crowded, the people just seem to keep coming out of a clown car, but I have a LOT of information to fit in. Sorry/ Oh, AND if I seem to be putting more words in places where they aren't really needed, I'm sorry. Like I said, I seem to be very descriptive today.**

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Meredith groaned and slammed her hand down on her alarm clock the next morning. She rolled over in bed and stared out the window at the sky which was dusted with a light pink tinge. After lying like that a few moments, she threw the covers back and got out of bed. She walked quietly around her room picking up odd clothes and before she opened the door she pressed her ear to it. Hearing nothing she slowly opened the door and winced when it let out a loud creak as she closed it. She tiptoed quickly down the hall to the bathroom and sighed with relief as she closed the door.

"You know you don't have to keep avoiding me."

Meredith jumped and let out a shout as she turned to face Izzie, who was dressed in a light robe, cami and boy shorts. Pretty much the only thing she'd been wearing while she'd been at home. Usually she lied and said that she changed during the day, but the only things they'd been washing of hers had been the items she was wearing.

"I'm not…Iz, I'm really…." Meredith stumbled over her words trying to come up with a good answer.

"No, it's fine Mer. I know that you and George think I'm just, some emotional wreck, a time bomb, that if you even mention the name…the…the name…." Izzie began to cry. Meredith heard footsteps coming down the hall, and then George opened the door. He looked at Izzie for a moment before he turned to Meredith.

"What the hell did you do?" He asked over Izzie's sobs.

"Nothing! I didn't do anything, she just started talking, and the next thing I knew she was crying and-"

Izzie started shaking her head "Geo-George, she didn't do anything!" she said through her tears. "It, it was m-m-m-me!"

George moved to comfort her when Alex came through the door. "What's going on here? What did you guys do to her?" he shot at them as he went to give Izzie a hug.

"NOTHING!" They said at the same time. Izzie shook her head "They didn't do anything A-Alex." She said. Her sobs had calmed down somewhat now, and she stood sniffling in Alex's arms. He looked at them, not sure if he believed it. Before he could ask anything George said.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's my day off, I spend it with Izzie, remember?"

George opened his mouth but Meredith cut him off.

"Alright, Alex, how about you take her downstairs. George, is Callie with you?"

"Uh, yeah, she's in my room."

"Alright go get her, when we're all ready, we'll drive to the hospital."

The three of them began to shuffle out of the room, and Meredith shut the door. She let out a sigh and sank onto the bathroom floor."3 days without seeing Izzie, and setting her off. That's a new record. She only cried five minutes this time. Also a new record." Meredith thought to herself.

Meredith brushed her hair and sighed as she looked in the mirror one last time. She didn't know why she cared so much about her appearance today. What made today different than any other? She turned on her heel and exited the bathroom, and walked down to the kitchen. Izzie was sitting in one of the chairs, staring off into space while Alex rubbed her back, George was trying to get himself some coffee, and Callie was looking for some quick breakfast foods.

"George, do you have anything to eat around here? Bars, muffins, granola, an APPLE? Anything?"

"There are muffins in a Tupperware container in the fridge." Izzie said in a scratchy voice. Callie paused and looked at her.

"Thanks Izzie." And she replied with a smile.

Meredith shook her head and walked over to take her coffee from George.

"Iz, Alex is here, but if you need anything call us alright?" Meredith said as she walked by her. Izzie nodded and George walked over and gave her a hug goodbye.

The three of them went outside and got into Meredith's car; George and Meredith in the front, Callie in the back.

When they arrived at the hospital, the sun was just rising and they were finishing off the last of the muffins. Meredith looked at her watch. "Damn it! George, we have rounds in 10 minutes!" she exclaimed. The three of them quickly walked to the elevator, and on the ride up Callie and George retreated to a corner of it, and occasionally Meredith could hear little giggles and whispers. When the elevator finally stopped they went their separate ways.

"Alright George I'll see you later?" Callie asked.

"Yeah, uh, are you coming to my place or am I going to yours?"

"Wherever you want, we can talk about it at lunch."

The kissed goodbye, and Callie headed down to her locker room, while Meredith and George went to theirs.

When they entered the locker room, Meredith made a beeline to Cristina.

"Hey."

Cristina pulled her scrub top on and looked at Meredith.

"Hey."

Meredith was about to ask her something, when Bailey came in the room.

"Alright rounds people." She said looking at her chart. "Yang, you're with the Chief today, O'Malley- O'Malley, Grey, **why** are you still in your clothes? You were supposed to be here ten minutes ago! You better have a damned good excuse for this one!"

Meredith spoke up. "We had a…Izzie thing, we had to take care of…."

George nodded. "Yeah…."

Bailey looked at them for a moment and then nodded her head slowly. "Alright then. Meet us in five minutes. O'Malley, you're with Shepherd, Grey, you're with me." And she walked out of the room.

Meredith sighed and slipped into her scrubs and lab coat. She slammed her locker shut and muttered a quick goodbye to George. She paced down the hall to where Dr. Bailey and the rest of the interns were gathered and stopped dead in her tracks.

Pinned to the bulletin board, was a "Lost and Found" sign and directly underneath that was something Meredith thought she had lost.

Dr. Bailey slowly rounded on them and asked in a death tone. "Whose. Panties. Are on. The bulletin board?"

**A/N: Yes dear readers I am sorry I had to be so cruel and leave a short chapter there, and I did truly plan to continue, but I plan to whip up about three more chapters within the next two weeks! I'm not promising, but it IS possible. Of course, you know what always helps? REVIEWS! Haha, just push that little button down in the corner . You know the rules no flames, constructive critcism is NOT a flame etc.**

**Writing a crying Izzie was hard for me, because I didn't want to make her seem overly weak so I hope I did a good job. I did what I could after watching the season finale over and over and over again to try to get a feel for how she…breaks down.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews these past two chapters, and SEE? I DID update sooner this time! Haha, please review, and there's more in store! Thanks!**

**-Meredith**

**-In Loving Memory of Steve Irwin. May he R.I.P. No matter how **

**Many close, dangerous calls he had with the animals he worked **

**With, he continued to speak of them and work with them with a**

**Passion, that showed he was truly dedicated to the animals, no**

**Matter what. Best regards to his family and friends. **

**He will be missed.**


	11. His Meredith? Alone with McSteamy?

_Disclaimer: Ok, if you don't know that I don't own the show by now, then I think you should get your head checked. Of course… I'd fake amnesia if McDreamy was examining my head…. _

_AN: I was half asleep when I wrote the first part, so please bear with me!_

"I said, who's. Damn. Panties. Are on the bulletin board?" Bailey rounded on them,

glaring at each of them before narrowing in on Cristina and Meredith.

"What the hell, why is she looking at me?" Cristina whispered furiously to Meredith.

"I don't know, how should I know, I'm a little busy trying not to look guilty."

Meredith whispered back, glancing between Dr. Bailey and the panties. Suddenly a movement down the end of the now quiet hall caught her eye as well as everyone else's. "Oh crap." She thought to herself as Derek showed up looking through charts, and when he looked up he opened his mouth to talk when his eyes were drawn to the board. They widened and one of his hands subconsciously traveled to his pocket. This action didn't go unnoticed by Meredith and she stared at him in disbelief, all of the pieces falling together. When he finally snapped out of it he cleared his throat and attempted to ask his original question.

"Dr. Bailey, could I borrow one of your interns for a-"

"Just a minute Dr. Shepherd." She said holding up a finger and pointing towards the board.

"Do you know whose these are?" He looked flustered for a moment before answering

"Ah… no! No, no I don't know who they belong to. Do any of you know who they belong to?" He asked the interns, his eyes scanning them over, lingering on Meredith slightly longer than the rest of them. Bailey was about to begin on her lecture when her pager went off.

"911…." She mumbled. She looked at her group, "This isn't over. This is _not. Over._ Do you hear me?" And she turned and ran through the hallway as her pager went off again.

Meredith turned to walk away when someone gripped her arm and pulled her through a doorway into a staircase. "Who… Derek, what are you doing?" She hissed.

"Meredith, we need to talk."

"Yes! We do! Apparently someone put my panties up on a bulletin board. Someone who found my panties. Someone who knew where they were. Maybe someone who, I don't' know, took them? And you know what? MAYBE they even put them in their coat pocket, right after having sex in an exam room like kids at the prom?"

"Meredith, what… you think I put them up?!" he asked her incredulously.

"Derek. No one else was in that room! Who else would have had access to them?"

"Maybe someone found them? That would explain the "Lost and Found" sign right above them you know."

"Derek, we both know-" She was cut off by both of their pagers.

"Trauma."

"I'm late for surgery." He sighed and kissed her softly on the forehead and moved his mouth to her ear. "I swear I didn't put them up. I'll see you later. Love you."

He briskly walked out the door. Meredith turned around numbly and leaned against a wall, before sliding down. He… he loved her. She laughed tensely thinking about it.

"He said he loves me…." She mouthed silently to the empty stairwell. Tears glazed her eyes and she blinked to keep them from falling. After all this, after finding out he had a wife, after telling him to, "Pick me. Choose me. Love me." After him picking _her_, choosing _her_, loving… _her_. After countless looks and words, and jealous rages from on both their parts, he finally says he loves her. Her pager goes off again and she sighs getting up to stand on her now shaky legs. She walks slowly out the door and goes to her destination.

"Dr. Sloan?" Meredith asks once she gets to trauma. He looks up at her. "Meredith." He greets her before returning his attention to the patient.

"Ms. Cole, I'd like you to meet Dr. Grey." His attention remains on the patient but he's now addressing Meredith.

"Dr. Grey, Ms. Cole was brought in after being involved in a five car pile up with second degree burns to her stomach, forearms, chest and neck. Her left pupil is blown. What should we do?"

Her stomach flipped slightly.

"Call for a consult and get her down to CT."

He smiled at her. "Very good." He ordered the team to take her down to CT before looking back at her. "Do me a favor and page Derek?"

She stiffened a little at this.

"Um… Derek's in surgery I think. Couldn't… shouldn't we get someone else to do this?"

He gave her a strange look. "Meredith, Derek's the best neurosurgeon in this hospital. He's the head of the department. Are you saying we should get someone else, less qualified surgeon to take care of her?"

She stuttered for a moment.

"N-no, it's just-"

He cut in.

"Look, page Shepherd and if he really can't come, then we'll get someone else, but unless that's the case I'm taking the best."

He brushed past her and she turned around mouthing wordlessly at him. Sighing she went to the desk and asked them to call down to OR 3.

"Good… we've removed the clot. What do you suggest we do next, Dr. Kim?" Derek said softly.

"Excuse me, Dr. Shepherd?"

He looked up.

"Dr. Sloan and Dr. Grey are requesting a consult." One of the scrub nurses told him.

"Dr… Dr. Sloan and Dr. Grey?" He asked.

"Yes sir."

He paused and he looked around the room, battling with himself. He had patients brain on the table. An open brain. Something he shouldn't ignore for almost anything. Even if he was almost done with the surgery. But then he had Mark and Meredith. Alone and together working on a patient. Mark who had slept with his wife, and Meredith who he loved to much to walk away when he saw them together. They were alone.

He swallowed.

"Tell them I'll be there in five minutes."

He finished the surgery without waiting for the interns answer to his earlier question. After he closed, he walked towards the door ripping off his scrub mask quickly and he washed his hands and arms. He pulled the door open and practically broke into a run, and he took the stairs two at a time. When he reached the floor he paced down the hall and nearly jumped up into the room.

"What's going on?" He asked nearly out of breath, narrowing his eyes slightly as he saw Mark standing behind Meredith pointing at the screen. He was standing very close. Too close for Derek's liking.

Mark and Meredith gave him some strange looks.

"You ok Derek? You seem a little out of breath." Mark asked.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I said five minutes. The ah… closing took a little longer than I thought it would, so I had to rush here."

Meredith surveyed him and his eyes flicked to her. She quickly looked away and Mark looked between them.

"Right…. Well, why don't you take a look at the scans."

Derek stepped forward so that he was closer to Meredith, brushing her arm with his as he adjusted the screen, studying it for a moment.

"Subdural hematoma." He squinted at the screen for a moment before adding softly, "With midline shift…."

He stepped back a little but not enough so that he was further than 6 inches from her.

"We need to get her down to surgery right away." He said.

"Well… Derek, the girl has second degree burns. If we wait much longer the scaring could be more permanent than if we got her down there right away." Mark said eyeing him.

"You've waited this long to get a consult and a scan haven't you?"

"Yes, but-"

"So I think you can wait a little longer. Do you think this girl would rather live and having a functioning brain, or prettier skin?"

"Derek, you know this isn't completely about plastics. She could contract an infection if she doesn't get treatment right away, you know that!"

"Well if she has brain damage she won't care!"

Mark took a threatening step forward and Meredith put a hand on his arm to stop him. Derek saw this and went livid. "You have to decide whether the chance of an infection is worth her having definite brain damage!"

"Well we all know the brain isn't that important in people, otherwise our lusty intern here wouldn't have fallen for you!"

WHAM!

Derek slammed his fist into the side of Mark's face, causing him to topple to the ground.

Meredith let out a shout of surprise and she knelt by him looking at his face. "Mark! Are you ok?"

He let out a low painful groan. "I think the bastard broke my jaw." Meredith looked at Derek who was nursing his hand. "What the hell did you do that for?" She didn't wait for an answer as she helped Mark up off the floor, leading him to the elevator.

**A/N: Well there you go. My longest chapter ever. Seriously, five pages at least, and I haven't even done the spacing yet. **

**First off, I want to say I'm sorry. Times a million. Because I said I would have at least two more chapters ready for the season premiere. But here's the thing. The lack of reviews put a damper on my already dark and twisty mode (seriously, dark and twisty) and then the premiere took away all my thunder. Seriously, how DARE Shonda make Derek say I love you to her!! Well no, not really. How great was that when Patrick said that? I grinned so hard my face broke! That premiere was amazing, I loved the Derek/George stuff going on. I've loved every single episode this season. Seriously. And can I say how… a little pissed, a little shocked, and a whole lot of jealous I was when I found out Canada got to see BOTH episodes?!?! Haha, but really, I am still sorry.**

**That has got to be the longest apology ever.**

**So… I had this idea for this whole nice somewhat sweet chapter. But then the fight just came to me. I wanted that fight. I crave that fight. Because at some point (we're talking in the show now) Derek is going to find out about what almost happened between Mark and Mer. And when he does, he's going to be PISSED. OFF. So This is probably just a little bit of my imagination about what that fight could go like. **

**And that punch that Derek threw in there? Ok, picture Derek as all of the angry Grey's Anatomy fans, and picture Mark as ABC. Derek is doing what we all want to do to ABC for taking away GA until January. That's what I wanna do at least. **

**I'm doing another one of my big long notes. Note? More like letter. I think I've gotten to all the main points, so I'll just stop now. If there's anything you want to ask me about, just PM me or ask me in a review. PLEASE REVIEW! I know I've been horrible, and I deserve it if I don't get one single review. But I love them. So please? Please…?**

**Haha, "From a Whisper to a Scream." That was a good episode. **

**Thank you so much for reading, and please review! (Construction criticism does NOT equal flaming!) Also if you ever want to but me to update, check out my homepage link on my authors page. That is my Grey's Anatomy Myspace fansite! That's also a reason I haven't updated. Add me as a friend if you have a myspace (let me know you're a reader!) and bug me as often as you want to update!**

**Thanks! **

**MeredithGreyPotter1**


	12. Something to Talk About

_Disclaimer: Seriously? Seriously?_

'_Nuff, said._

_A/N: Woohoo! So soon! Haha._

"Ow!"

"Oh, hold still you big baby."

Mark glared at Callie as she continued to examine his jaw.

"You do realize I'm an attending and you're just a resident? I could have you fired, or at least put on probation for talking to me like that."

Callie snorted and twisted his face a little causing him to wince.

"If you did that our little friend here would tell everyone exactly how 'brave' Mark Sloan is. Or is it McSteamy?"

Meredith bit back her laughter as she watched them. Callie smirked a little and snapped her gloves off.

"Well, you definitely have a broken jaw. We'll need to get an X-Ray just to see how bad it is. I also want to get a look to see if anything else is messed up."

She took out the heavy X-Ray cloth and told Mark to move to the chair. He looked at Meredith with what she had dubbed "The McSteamy Face" and she rolled her eyes.

"You really are pathetic. You know that, right?" She said as she helped him to the chair while he kept one hand on his jaw. He shrugged once he sat down.

"Maybe. But it's cute right?"

He flashed her a smile before grimacing. Meredith shook her head smiling as Callie draped the cloth over him. She placed a piece of cardboard like material in his mouth.

"Now bite. Hard. Oh, stop looking at me like that, just do it."

Callie and Meredith stepped out of the room as they took the X-Rays.

Richard and Derek were in a conference room. Richard was pacing back and forth while Derek was sitting in a chair trying to sink out of view, holding an ice pack to his injured hand. Richard stopped pacing and he turned to Derek. He leaned on the table and paused for a moment. When he finally spoke, he was near shouting.

"Derek. Why the hell did you do that? What could Sloan have done to you this time, to make you do that? I thought we took care of this, I thought we had an agreement that when Mark Sloan was in this hospital under my employment, that you wouldn't start any bar room brawls with him! It was bad enough the first time you did it, but this time you actually hurt you hand."

He raised his voice some more.

"You hurt you damn two million dollar a year hand! So you sure as hell better have an explanation for this!"

Derek swallowed. The Chief didn't yell often, but when he did you felt like you were the size of a thumb.

"He called Meredith a lusty intern."

Richard blinked at him.

"That's it? He calls Grey a lusty intern and you decide to deck him?"

Derek stood up quickly.

"That's a perfect reason to deck him! He called my- he called Dr. Grey a lusty intern! Implying that she was nothing more than… than sex! Some sort of… slut! Someone that everyone wants to be with, and she'll gladly be with everyone!" He shouted.

"Derek, you are overreacting. Sloan's been calling her that for months-"

"He _what?!?_"

"Along with a few other nicknames-"

"Such as?"

"And Grey doesn't mind at all! She seems to think they're funny, especially since the… what is it… Dirty Ex-Mistress name supposedly refers to both of them."

Derek mouthed wordlessly.

"Dirty Ex-Mistress?"

He sank into his chair again. He remembered her using that word. It had been the day that he found her in Finn's apartment. Wet. In his shirt.

He closed his eyes tightly trying to erase the sight from his mind.

Richard looked at him a wave of sympathy washing over him.

"Look. Keep that ice on your hand. I'll get Ortho to take a look at it when they get a chance. That five car pile up we had earlier came with a lot of bones. They're happy, but they don't know what to do with so many injuries, and so little interns interested in the specialty." He said quietly.

Derek heard him walking towards the door and when it shut he let out a sigh.

"Why would Mark be a mistress?" He wondered to himself.

"Hey!" George said as he caught up with Meredith.

"Did you hear about the big fight that Shepherd and Sloan had?"

Meredith gave him a wry look.

"Heard about it? I was in the room when it happened."

"You were?"

"Yeah."

They continued walking before George pressed her again.

"And…?"

She shot him a quick look. "And what? They were arguing over who got to do surgery first, Mark says something and the next thing I know, Derek decides to punch him, and Mark's on the floor." She said.

"But why did Shepherd punch him."

"Because he's a jack ass." She said and she swerved into an elevator.

The same elevator that Addison was taking.

"Oh… hi Dr. Shepherd." Meredith greeted her politely.

Addison arched an eyebrow.

"Dr. Grey."

She stepped forward and Meredith tensed up.

"What floor?" Addison asked her.

"S-sorry?"

Addison frowned slightly.

"What floor? I'm going to floor six."

"Oh… right, sorry. Eight."

Addison gave her a thin smile and pressed the button. After a few moments silenced she decided to engage in what seemed like some light conversation.

"So Dr. Grey. How's your day been? Any interesting cases?"

Meredith looked at her out of the corner of her eye before answering.

"Uh… kind of I guess. I have a burn patient from that accident that happened earlier. Turns out she also needs brain surgery-"

"Oh yes, I heard about that. Lucky you. It must feel great to have two of the most prestigious surgeons in the country fighting over you."

Meredith whipped her head to look at her.

"What? They weren't, I mean… they were fighting over who got to do surgery first-"

Addison chuckled dryly. "We both know they weren't. Derek got pissed because Mark keeps picking you for surgeries. Mark pushed him a little to hard, in just the wrong way and," She snapped to indicate the punch.

"Personally I wouldn't blame him. The man's already lost the first love of his life to Mark. Why shouldn't he be afraid to lose the second and last?"

The doors opened and she stepped off the elevator.

"Oh. And Dr. Grey? You might want to take a look at the bulletin board outside the locker room. I'm sure you'll find something of… interest to you there."

She gave her a falsely bright smile before the doors closed again.

_A/N: Yay! Another update so soon! How proud are you? I know I'm proud! Haha. I was going to keep going, but I decided this is enough for now._

_Hmm… Mark and Callie in the beginning. Mark might be slightly OOC to some of you, but I don't think so. To me, he's the big, tough, plastic surgeon, who's just a total pig to everyone but a special few, but underneath all that unbelievably HOT McSteaminess, he's this big cuddly teddy bear. Lol, well you get the picture. And Callie is the kind of person who's not afraid to treat him like one. I mean she was in the bar and she called him McSteamy. She's the hot, sexy, dirty, Ortho chick, who's not afraid to act like it. That's why I love her. She's totally amazing, and perfect for George! But I was afraid when I saw her fighting with Meredith during the promo for the "Thanksgiving Episode". _

_Hmm… Callie was really fun to write. As you can probably get from all that up there. Maybe. But the Chief was kind of hard. I don't know why, but he was definitely a lot harder than the others. Probably because we see him so rarely, and all he ever seems to care about is surgeries, hospitals, machinery and money. But I needed to write him. I wanted to write him. And I hope I did an ok job. _

_The small George and Meredith interaction was just to show that word of the fight has traveled. But how could it not? It's Seattle Grace Hospital._

_Addison and Meredith. I think Addison comes off a little bitchy here. I don't like writing McSatan, because I LOVE Addison. As a character and with Mark. So I really hate writing her like that. But… think about it. Panties. McDreamy and McSteamy duking it out in a room that McMer HAPPENS to be in. Even if that wasn't the reason they were fighting (or was it…?) she automatically jumps to that conclusion._

_So McSatan gets pissed. Professional, but pissed. _

_We'll see how that unfolds. _

_And Derek wondering about why Mark's a mistress?_

_Now what could that mean?_

_Super long note, but I decided I wanted to explain everything. And I realize I did kind of jump from scene to scene in here, and that I STILL haven't addressed the fact that Derek loves Meredith and they both know it. But that's coming up! They still haven't done that in the show either. Pity. _

_And for anyone who's confused, yes Mark and Callie DID sleep together, even if I haven't written it in. But they're able to get along like that in my world. _

_Ok, I think that's it. If you want to know anything else, just PM me or ask in a review and I shall do my best to get back to you!_

_Oh yes, please review! Once again, CC (constructive criticism) does NOT equal flaming._

_Thanks for reading!_

_-MeredithGreyPotter1_

_P.S. And please check out my new one shot that I posted "He Could Never Stay Angry With Her" It's had many, many reads, but less than six reviews. It's my first "drabble" so that's why feedback is very important to me. Thanks! _

_Oh yeah, and I've been having mouth X-Rays for the dentist my whole life. So it figures as I'm writing this my mind would blank on what everything's EXACT name is. I'm sooo sorry to you sticklers out there!_


	13. Realization Comes in Many Forms

_Disclaimer: You know, we're not ALL neurosurgeons, but I think we're all smart enough to know that I DON'T OWN ANY OF IT! Can we at least agree on that ABC?? Because we sure as hell can't agree on the fact that you're taking GA away from us until JANUARARY !!&$!_

_A/N: Yeah, I'm still bitter about it. Lol_

"Ths nt gd."

"What?"

"THS. NT. GD!"

Meredith laughed. "I'm sorry Mark, I really can't understand a word you're saying. Callie told you not to talk anyway."

Mark glared at Meredith before taking out the small writing board that he had been given and he scribbled furiously on it before turning it over so she could see what he had written on it.

"This not good?" She read out loud.

Mark nodded his head furiously before erasing the words and writing new ones.

"NY's #1 PS with a jaw injury?" She asked.

Mark nodded and then scribbled his first words underneath them.

"Oh! New York's number one plastic surgeon has a jaw injury! That's not good!"

He nodded sullenly and she chuckled.

"Don't worry, Callie said you'd be out of that cast in no time. Once it sets a little more she'll see what else she can do."

She looked down at her pager as it went off.

"Sorry, I gotta go-"

"WHT? NNN!"

"Yes! I do! I'll see you later ok?"

She smiled and left the room. She walked down the crowded hallway and then she saw him.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

"Alright Dr. Shepherd, lets take a look at this hand."

Callie lifted his hand gently onto the table in front of them and he hissed with pain. She put her gloves on and examined it as gently as she could, his face screwed up attempting not to scream. Callie stepped back and wrote on his chart.

"It looks like you've broken…." She looked at the ceiling counting off out loud.

"Your first two knuckles, fractured your third finger, and," She looked at him apologetically. "Dislocated your thumb." He groaned, and she gave him a stern look.

"Well maybe next time you'll think twice before having a go at people."

Derek mumbled something under his breath that sounded like, "Not where Meredith's concerned…."

"You did him good too. His jaw's broken and his chin has a hairline fracture. I put him in a cast. He's fun to watch, he tries to talk even though he's not supposed to and he comes off sounding like a caveman."

Derek snorted. "I'd pay to see that."

She smiled.

"You probably will. He's acting like a big baby and having Meredith parade him up to anyone who'll pay attention…."

Derek had stopped paying attention to her when he heard Meredith's name. Mark was having her parade him around? He quickly let go of that thought as he remembered how she had looked at him after the fight. She looked… so many things. Shocked. Ashamed. Angry. Disappointed. He sighed sadly. He couldn't bear the thought of her being disappointed with him. He just couldn't stand having Mark talk about her that way. And she'd put her hand on his arm… he was standing so close to her. He wondered if Mark had smelled her lavender hair…. His stomach clenched at that thought. Only he was allowed to smell her hair. Only he was allowed to kiss her, to taste her. To run his hands over her body, feeling her smooth skin beneath his rougher hands. To hear those sounds she made….

"…I mean if you ask me, I think this whole thing is a little ridiculous. Come on, the guy has a broken jaw not a cracked cranium. Although I'm surprised that he didn't get one, from what I hear you sent him to the ground pretty hard."

Derek cleared his throat.

"Yeah, I guess I did…. Dr. Torres,"

"Callie."

He smiled.

"Callie. Has… Meredith ever mentioned anything to you?"

"About?"

"I don't know… any guys?"

She looked at him closely.

"Well, she's still seeing that… what do they call him? Oh yeah, McVet. And McSteamy has been paying her some special attention, but from what I can see they're just friends."

Derek nodded his head slowly, taking in the information.

"Ok…."

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

"Finn!"

The veterinarian turned around at the sound of his name and smiled, kissing her cheek.

"Hey. How are you today?" He asked.

"I'm, uh… good! Good. I'm on this really interesting case today."

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh really? You wanna tell me about it?"

She paused for a moment before answering.

"I don't think you'd be interested in it. It's mostly plastics." She said.

He shrugged.

" Hey, so I was thinking we could go out to dinner tonight? And not just a quick bite to eat either. The whole nine yards. Fancy clothes, good food, fine wine, dancing."

She smiled.

"I haven't danced, worn good clothes, had good food, or drunken fine wine in forever. Count me in."

"Great! What time do you get off?" He asked.

"Seven."

"Perfect, so I'll meet you at your place at seven thirty?" He asked.

"Sounds good." She smiled.

"So you came all this way just to ask me that?" She chuckled.

"Well, I decided you were worth the detour. I haven't seen you at all these past few days. How's Izzie?" He asked.

"Izzie's… Izzie. She had a little bit of a breakdown today. Alex is with her so that's good."

He nodded.

"Yeah, I took her some lunch the other day. She seemed to enjoy it. We talked for a little bit."

Meredith's face softened and a smile tugged at her mouth.

"You did? You took some food to her? And she talked?"

"Yeah. I figured because I understand what she's going through… you know talking would be good."

Meredith smiled.

"It's good. It's very good…." Her pager went off and she frowned.

"Sorry. I gotta go."

"Alright. I'll see you later then."

He leaned forward and kissed her gently at first before pressing a little harder and then pulling away.

"Bye." He smiled.

"Yeah… bye…." She breathed softly.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

"Izzie? Izzie?" Alex called her name softly as he walked up the stairs, bringing her a bowl of soup.

"Iz, are you awake?" He asked as he reached her door. He pushed it open slowly with his foot and stepped inside.

Izzie was sitting in the corner by her window staring at the ground below her, tears streaming slowly down her face. He put the tray that he had used to carry the soup down on the bed and he walked over to her. She sniffled and her lip trembled as he scooped her up in his arms and he sat in the chair.

"Ssshhh… it's ok…." He tried to soothe her.

She shook her head slowly shoulders shaking now.

"It's, it's not o-ok!"

She insisted.

"E-e-everything's w-wrong-g."

She sniffled again and the tears flowed faster.

"Denny's, Denny's… he's _gone_." She cried and she rested her head on his shoulder, clutching at his shirt collar.

Alex rubbed her back and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"A-a-and I'm just so… sick of crying. And hurting. It hurts Alex, all the time, everywhere! Make it stop, please? Please? Please make it st-o-p.'

He held her tighter and he felt his heart break.

"I wish I could Iz… you have no idea…."

He murmured softly to her.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd, was not an easily intimidated woman. She had it all. The money, the looks, the gorgeous husband that every woman longed for, the man candy of an ex-mistress, the fancy house in the Hamptons, and the fantastic Brownstone overlooking Central Park in New York City. She also co-shared an attractive piece of land with her gorgeous husband, even if the trailer wasn't exactly her thing.

Yes, there was no doubt that Addison Shepherd had it all.

She even had love. Even if it came from the man candy mistress whom she refused to be with, instead of the gorgeous husband. Because her husband was in love with Meredith Grey. And Meredith Grey was the only person who could intimidate Addison. She didn't know why, but it seemed like every one in and out of that whole hospital had wanted to be with Meredith at one point or another, and a few had even succeeded in doing so. First there was her husband. Word had it that Karev had been interested in her at some point as well. She and O'Malley… well what had happened between them was well known. Then there was Dr. Dandridge, and last but not least, Mark Sloan. Man candy, and recently dubbed McSteamy. She couldn't be sure, but from the looks that Mark had been giving Meredith, he was definitely interested. For what, Addison wasn't sure. But the looks were still there. She sighed and placed her head in her hands.

"Eleven years… eleven years and he throws it all away… for tacky sex at a hospital prom."

Of course, she herself knew she hadn't been any better when she had done it at ten years. She closed her eyes and massaged her temples as she remembered what had happened that fateful night….

_Flashback: Derek and Addison's New York Brownstone, one year ago._

_Addison stepped out of her black Mercedes and walked carefully up the steps of her house. She took her house keys out of her limited edition hand bag and inserted the key into the lock. She turned it slowly and opened the door stepping inside. She closed it and sighed when she heard the dull click of it closing resonating throughout the house. She picked up the day's mail and stopped when she saw a postcard. Flipping it over she scanned it quickly before smiling softly._

Derek and Addie,

Just thought you might want to know that I'm coming home from Europe tonight. The trip was great and I have some gifts for you two. I'll try to pop by around eight. Hope you guys are there otherwise I might be stuck out on your stoop in the rain like I was last Thanksgiving. I still haven't forgiven you for that Derek.

I'll see you guys soon.

Mark

_She laughed when she read the part about Thanksgiving. Derek and she had invited Mark over for Thanksgiving dinner since he and his girlfriend had just broken up. It wasn't a surprise, Mark and his girls never seemed to last too long, and Derek and Addison were constantly worrying about him. Sometimes Addison would worry so much that Derek would tease, _"Why don't you marry him?" _She always laughed and shook it off when he said that, but for some reason it always hit a nerve with her._

_Suddenly there was a knock at the door and she jumped. She opened it and smiled._

"_Mark!"_

_She hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek._

"_Hey Addison. You haven't changed a bit since I've been gone. Still gorgeous." He smiled._

_She bit her lip and spared him a small smile as she tried to ignore the remark. _

"_I just got your postcard. How was the trip? You said it was good but you didn't exactly elaborate."_

_He laughed._

"_Well I'd be more than happy to tell you. But may I come in?"_

_She nodded and stepped aside. He brushed against her as he walked inside and she felt her stomach flip a little. She swallowed before following him into the living room._

"_So, would you like something to drink?" She asked him as he made himself comfortable on the couch._

"_No thanks."_

_She stood in the doorway, not really sure what to do next. He looked at her concerned._

"_Are you alright?"_

_Startled she responded loudly._

"_Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"_

_He frowned._

"_Well, you're just standing in the doorway and you announced your state of mind and body to the whole block. Come on, sit down."_

_He patted the seat next to him. She swallowed once more before walking closer to him and sitting down carefully._

"_Addie, the couch won't bite." He laughed._

_She laughed with him and couldn't help but think how good their laughs mingled together. She quickly stopped._

"_So, I hear you have gifts for us?"_

_He looked at her sternly._

"_Now, now Addie, have patience." He chuckled as he began searching through his pockets._

_Addie. The nickname sounded so good coming from his lips._

"God, Addison, what are you thinking? He's Mark! Derek's best friend, your friend! You shouldn't be thinking like this, you're married!"

"_Ah, here we are. This is for you, Derek's is over at the penthouse."_

_He handed her a jewelry box and she took it thanking him before she opened it. She let out a gasp._

"_Mark, it's gorgeous!" She smiled happily as she fingered the delicate ruby and diamond bracelet._

_He smiled. "I'm glad you like it. I had it custom made for you. The rubies were on display in a little jewelry shop in Paris. I saw them and thought of you and your hair."_

_She looked up and her smile fell a little when she saw the intense look he was giving her. _

"_Mark…." She whispered softly. His hand brushed a strand of hair from her face before stroking her cheek. Her mouth opened a little as she closed her eyes and leaned against his hand, and the next thing she knew his lips were on hers. His wonderful lips were on hers, and she had her arms around his neck. And she knew then, that even though they were making a terrible mistake, there was no going back after this. This was the event that would change everything._

_End Flashback._

Sighing Addison picked her head up and looked out the darkened conference room window, out into the busy hallway at Seattle Grace.

Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd, was not going to lose the man that had destroyed her marriage. Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd, was not going to lose the man that she loved. Even if she wouldn't admit it yet.

She flipped open her cell phone and dialed Derek's number.

"Hey… Derek I've been thinking… and… I want a divorce."

She looked at her wedding rings.

"Yeah… I'll call our lawyers and have them draw up some papers together. I think we should meet on Saturday, that is if you're free."

There's a pause before she continues.

"Ok. See you then. I'll be out of the trailer by tomorrow night."

She hung up her phone and continued looking at her rings. She twisted them on her finger as the tears she had been holding back for so long finally fell.

"The end of an era…." She whispered to herself.

_**A/N: Woot! That is OFFICIALLY THE longest chapter EVER done by me! Eight pages and a bit!**_

**_Ok, so I was thinking about making my whole Addison and Mark bit a separate story. But I wanted to put this in, because I needed to show why Addie was acting the way she did to Mer in the previous chapter. She can handle losing her husband to Mer. She really can, she doesn't like it, and she may not be ok with it (at least not yet) but she'll deal. She WON'T put up with losing the man who destroyed her marriage, but saved her. Uh uh. No way. So she remembers that night, and she finally sees what she has to do. Their marriage has been over since the affair, she knew it even before anything had happened. So now it's time for her to do something about it. And seriously, I started to cry as I was writing the final part of this chapter. Really. The way she's so willingly asking Derek for the divorce, how calm and cool she is about the whole thing, and then she looks at her rings. She feels her rings. And then she realizes that she's never going to wear them again. Nothing beats the scene where she threw them in the water, that was just great. So I wanted to do one simple act. And this is about realization that it's really, finally, truly, just DONE._**

_**I've been cutting in and out of scenes the last few chapters. I know that. I'm sorry if it annoys anyone (I haven't gotten any complaints but still, just sorry). I think it flows better though. I can involve several characters in one chapter without jumbling them all up and having people wonder "Where the hell did they come from, why are they here, and what do they have to do with this??" It gives me several story lines to work with, and therefore, longer chapters. **_

_**Now. Mer and Finn. I realized I'd been neglecting him. Addison is "getting rid of" Derek. Now it's time for Mer to do the same with Finn. I might write in the date. Because that's where I was thinking of doing the whole break up. And I just gave something away but ok. Lol, but the point is what do YOU guys want? Do you want me to write the dinner and the breakup, or do you want me to just move on and have Meredith be all dark and twisty at work and have her tell people that she broke up with him, "Just because."?**_

_**Alex and Izzie. I didn't want to forget about them. And we needed to see what was going on with them at home. How Izzie's coping, and how badly Alex wants to help her. There should be more of them in the future. I wanted to write in some Cristina/Burke, but I wasn't sure how to handle it. Injury or no injury? So I'm leaving them alone for now, at least until I figure out how to deal with them.**_

**_Now, Derek and Callie! Lol, long chapter equals very long letter to you guys lol. Derek and Callie was just a chance for Derek to reflect really. For him to learn a little more about Mer and Mark, not too much, but enough for him to get a slightly bigger picture. It was also a nice bonding thing for him and Callie. She walked in on the adulterous sex at the prom. And yet she's being nice to him. Because I think she can probably see that Derek loves Meredith like she loves George, and they're having a hard time right now, because he's married and she's with Finn, so everything's a big mess. She has a heart, Callie does. _**

_**Hmmm… anything else?**_

_**Oh yes, That bit of MerMark interaction in the beginning was just for a bit of humor in what turns out to be a somewhat tragic chapter by the end. And also because a reviewer asked me to, and I was more than happy to oblige, especially since it matched my own plans. Don't worry you'll be getting more:) **_

_**And the name of the chapter. Everyone realizes something in this chapter, even if they don't realize they realize it. Meredith realizes how great Finn is. How really, truly great he is. Finn basically realizes that he wants to take Meredith out to a really big dinner. Not much to realize, but he did. Derek realizes that he wants Meredith to be HIS Meredith. That he can't stand the thought of her being anyone else's. Callie seems to get a deeper understanding of what's going on between Meredith and Derek. How much he loves her. And in the flashback, Mark and Addie both comes to realizations about how much they want each other. Maybe even need each other. Possibly even love each other. And of course Addie comes to the big final decision at the end.**_

_**Because it's time.**_

_**I think that's it! If you have any questions, requests, or if something doesn't make sense to you, just ask in a review! Please review! Haha, or PM me. Or do both:) **_

_**I do love them both. LOL. Next chapter will be up asap! CC does NOT equal Flaming!**_

_**Thanks!**_

_**MeredithGreyPotter1**_


	14. The Start of Something Old

_Disclaimer: All I want for Christmas this year is the rights to Grey's Anatomy. _

_Yeah, that'll happen. _

_I'll settle for McDreamy._

_No::tear:: haha._

_A/N: Sooo, I didn't update Thursday or Friday.. Really sorry about that, but I must warn you, I almost NEVER update on Thursdays, because it's my busiest day of the week. Especially when Grey's is on. And I was about to last night, when I saw how late it was and decided to go to bed because I'm sick. So now I'm doing it today! You might even get two! MIGHT! Haha, hope you like the new chapter!_

Meredith stood in her room looking at herself in her full length mirror. Finn was picking her up in fifteen minutes and she still wasn't ready. She'd tried on everything she owned, changed her shoes at least six times and tried and retried to style her hair the way she wanted.

"I like that one."

Meredith turned her head and she saw Izzie leaning in her doorway.

"Iz, you're up! And… well…."

"Talking. I'm up and talking, and walking around. And for once I'm not in my underwear and a bathrobe. Yeah, I'm up."

Izzie smiled a little and walked over to Meredith picking up a dress from the bed.

"I like this one."

She held out the dark blue dress that Meredith had thrown into the "reject pile".

"Really?"

Meredith took the dress from her and held it up to her again.

"Yeah. It makes your eyes sparkle."

She looked at herself in the mirror for a few minutes before smiling.

"It does…."

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Addison quietly folded her last dress, smoothing out all of the creases before she snapped her suit case shut. She looked around the trailer, lost in thought. This place had become her home ever since she came to Seattle. It was small, and cramped, and it almost always smelled like trout from the mornings when Derek would cook it for breakfast.

"He never opened the windows…." She thought to herself, smiling softly. She sat down slowly on the bed and looked at the shower. That was the last place she and Derek had had sex. Little did she know it would be the last time ever.

"You forgot this."

She dragged her eyes from the shower to the doorway, where Derek, with his hand wrapped up so much he looked like a Christmas present, was holding out her locket that she had left on top of the microwave earlier that morning. He walked over to the bed and sat next to her, rolling the locket between the fingers of his good hand.

"I gave this to you on our first wedding anniversary." He said.

Addison smiled softly.

"Right after I shoved your piece of cake down your shirt… because you and Mark had stayed out late to celebrate."

His eyes hardened a little when he heard Mark's name, but he chuckled nonetheless.

"Yeah. And you felt so bad you couldn't stop crying for over an hour."

She laughed.

"I ruined your good shirt, your favorite shirt! Mom made it for you!" She said and he laughed.

"Yeah, I don't think she's ever forgiven you for that." He smiled.

They became silent again for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry."

They said together at the same time. Derek looked at her in surprise.

"What are you sorry for?" He asked her.

She sighed and lay down on the bed staring up at the ceiling.

"I ruined our marriage. I slept with Mark, I didn't tell you how I was feeling, I just…."

She closed her eyes and sighed, holding back the tears.

He shook his head slowly and lay down next to her.

"I was… absent… indifferent…. I was too involved with my work…."

He looked over at her.

"I took you for granted. And I'm sorry about that… I'm sorry I did that. I'm sorry I did everything."

She opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him, giving him a small smile.

"We both have something to be sorry about I guess…."

He smiled and nodded.

"I guess so."

They continued staring at the ceiling for a few more minutes, before Addison gave a watery chuckle.

"We're… we're really over… aren't we…?"

Derek smiled sadly.

"Yeah, I guess we are."

One final tear rolled down Addison's face.

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A wonderful dinner. A wonderful dinner, great music, tons of fun, and amazing man sitting across from her, and she still couldn't help but think, "He's not Derek."

"Meredith?"

Her eyes snapped to him, and she saw how concerned he was.

"Are you ok?"

She smiled softly.

"I'm… I'm fine Finn. I'm just fine."

He smiled and got up from his chair, walking to her side of the table, and he offered her his arm.

"May I have this dance?"

She laughed and got up.

"You may."

They walked out to the dance floor and she put her arms around his neck.

"You know… I'm really glad we did this." He said.

She paused before smiling weakly.

"Yeah… me too."

She lay her head on his chest and they continued swaying to the music.

"_What is wrong with you Meredith? An amazing guy has this arms around you. He took you out for your first date in months, your first wonderful date in months, and the only thing you can think about is Derek. Derek who has a wife. Derek who left you for said wife. Derek who cheated on his wife with you at the prom. Derek who didn't even tell you he had a wife to begin with!"_ She thought to herself.

"Derek who you're completely and hopelessly in love with."

She lifted her head quickly from his chest.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"I'm…." She trails off, unsure of what to say. Deciding to avoid the awkward void of silence, she kisses him.

He kisses her back and one of his hands runs through her hair, and the only thought she can think is, "Derek was the last one to do that."

She breaks away.

"Finn, I…."

She stops. She was about to tell him that they couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't do it anymore. But the way he was looking at her…. She silently cursed all men and the looks that they could give.

"I have to get up early tomorrow. I have pre-rounds at four thirty, and Bailey's been on the war path ever since… um… something was posted on the bulletin board today that she didn't like too much. Would you mind too much if we called it a night?" She asked.

He shook his head.

"No, not at all I understand. I should probably get back home anyway, I have some paper work to take care of."

He smiled and kissed her, and she hesitantly kissed him back before they walk back to their table. He pays the bill and she grabs her purse.

The drive back to her place is silent, with a weight constantly growing in her stomach. He walked her to her door.

"Thank you. Really, it was… everything was great." She said.

He smiled a little.

"Meredith… I know that something's going on between you and Dr. Shepherd… Derek."

The smile she had been wearing fell a little.

"And I understand. Really I do. I don't know how it happened, or even when since he's married, but I can tell that you're in love with him."

"Finn-"

"It's ok. I lost my wife. I will always love her, and I'll always want to be with her. But I can't. You… you can. So you should try as hard as you can to be with him."

Tears welled in her eyes and she sniffled a little.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry Finn. You're a great guy…. Tonight was perfect, but I just…."

He shushed her.

"I know."

He kissed her gently, this time on the cheek and he walked down the steps before turning around.

"Oh, and Meredith? Don't make him make you wait, and don't make him wait." He said.

She looked after him as he got in his car and drove away. She slowly slid her key in the door, and turned it. Stepping inside she dropped her purse to the ground. She stood there for a moment before she picked up her car keys from the table in the hallway, and she turned quickly on her heel and ran out to her car. She drove for about fifteen minutes, along streets and paths that she hadn't traveled in a long time. She hadn't needed to travel this way in a long time. She parked on a dirt road and when she got out it started to rain. She walked quickly across the grass, trying not to trip on her dress and heels, and she climbed the steps of the wooden deck and knocked on the door.

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Derek sat alone in his trailer drinking a glass of scotch. Addison had left earlier, leaving the place with an empty feeling. He missed the life and the fullness that came with having someone live with him. When Meredith and he had been together… that had been the best. Whether they were at her house or his trailer, life was always… better. When Addison and he had lived in New York it had never been the same. They were living without really living. They had the fancy homes, and the private practices, access to some of the best museums and opera houses in the world, but nothing ever felt whole. When they lived together in the trailer everything became a little better, but it still wasn't quite the same as when he was with Meredith. He raised his glass to take another sip of his drink when he heard a knock at his door. He placed his glass down on the table and walked to the door, wondering if perhaps Addison had forgotten something and came back to retrieve it. He opened the door and she was there.

Meredith stood there, in a fancy dress that must have cost her way too much since she never had time to wear such a thing, and her hair hanging around her shoulders. But that wasn't what made her look beautiful. What made her look beautiful was the fact that she was soaking wet. Her dress clung to her body and her hair was plastered down from the rain, makeup running slightly. Her dress was ruined around the hem, and she was holding her shoes in her hand.

And then he looked in her eyes. Her beautiful eyes.

And then he knew.

A look of understanding spread across his face followed by a grin, and when she saw this she dropped her shoes, and stepped forward wrapping her arms around his neck. He circled his arm around her back and placed his good hand on the back of her head. He looked at her one last time and when she smiled he pressed a kiss to her lips, moving backwards and she kicked the door shut with her heel.

_A/N: Hmmm… not quite as long as my last chapter, but I wanted to get this up. And some people were concerned about how long it would take them to get together. Honestly I was too. So I decided to focus solely on them this chapter. We'll take care of Callie and Mark and Izzie and Alex etc. in the coming chapters. :) _

_I also thought it was kind of choppy at some parts, but I was having a touch of writers block and I was trying to work past it all by just… writing. Plus I was frustrated because some of my ideas kept slipping away. I'll probably fix it up a little over time. I won't make any big changes though._

_Meredith's dress… that can be whatever you want. Your perfect dream dress that she should be wearing for her reunion with Derek. The only must is that is has to be long so that way it can be ruined by the rain. That's all you need to know. _

_Izzie is up! That's a good sign. Remember, before this she was moping around the house in her underwear and bathrobe. She's up. She's talking. She's not crying hysterically every single second of every single day. She's sad, but she's up. _

_Addison and Derek. Not really much to say about them. They were coming to terms with ending their marriage. Thinking about how happy they were in the beginning, and just one event, one mistake, changed all of that forever. It's sad people. Seriously, I felt so sad when they called it quits on the show. It felt a lot worse than I thought it would. I was so ecstatic that they were getting divorced, because this gave Mer and Der a chance. But it was actually painful you know? I totally agreed with Derek when he said "This is incredibly sad." And truthfully? Nothing compares with that whole scene, especially when McSteamy comes out with his McSteam behind them. And the sad thing is I had this big, tear-jerking plot line worked out for that stuff up there (which started with the cake) and when it came time to write about it? It completely slipped my mind, but slowly, and it kept going but there was nothing I could do to stop it. So that makes me a little mad. So I settled for what I have up there lol._

_Meredith and Finn. Goodbye Finn! We (probably) won't see anymore of him in this story. _

_I did get one review asking for me not to show the breakup, because Finn's a nice guy. And I COMPLETELY agreed with that person. I didn't want to write Meredith breaking up with him because he IS a nice guy, a really great, perfect, smart, caring guy. No guy who's all that deserves to be hurt. So… I decided to smarten him up a little. He knows without anyone telling him anything that something is going on between Meredith and "Dr. Shepherd". Something deep. And he knows that when you have the chance to be with the person that you love that much, you should jump at the opportunity, and not let anything get in your way. Of course REAL life doesn't always look out like that, but this is fan fic world, more importantly MY fan fic world lol. So this can happen. Especially when Mer and Der are concerned. :D_

_Now the final thing. When Derek sees Meredith soaking wet, standing outside his door. He sees the most beautiful thing in the world. We don't know why, but he just does. And he knows why she's there. He just does. It's them. They know each other, they read each other better than anyone. They just know. They just do. They just are. _

_So they're together! But that doesn't mean together, together. Not necessarily anyway. We'll see what's going to happen with them. _

_Oh yes, I got a review asking for final ships._

_The final ships are going to be: Merder, Maddison, Burktina (Prestina, Bang, whatever you want to call it lol) Lexzie, and GeorgeCallie. BUT! That doesn't mean that these people aren't going to be mixed and matched. Shaken up. Go through hardships, and other various mishaps. Maybe they'll be a little bit of Addisex (Addison and Alex, because I think they'd be fun to write lol), MerMark, Marz (Mark and Izzie, I think I made that ship name up lol) and POSSIBLY even a SPRINKLE of Addek. Yes, things could very well go that bad that the two soon to be divorced people get together again in one way or another for a brief moment._

_So just because they're (Mer and Der) together now, doesn't mean they'll stay that way forever. You have been warned! Lol._

_Anyway, thanks for all the amazing reviews for the past few chapters (11, 12, 13) and of course all of them for the whole story! Special thanks to annefan, because I wanted to respond to her review but my email was being stupid. Still is honestly. _

_Thanks for reading, and please review!_

_MeredithGreyPotter1_


	15. She Truly Believes

_Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada, I don't own any of it, Shonda is marvelous, ABC is amazing except when they take GA away for a whole month… yeah I think that covers it._

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Derek's opened his eyes wearily the next morning. He moved his hand to rub his eyes when he winced as he saw the bandages. He used the other one and looked up at the ceiling for a few minutes. He knew something was different, he had a feeling in his gut, but he couldn't quite remember what it was. He looked over to his right side and then he smiled.

Instead of seeing the red hair that he had grown accustomed to over the past few months, and before that eleven years, he saw blonde hair strewn across the pillow. The previous days events came rushing back to him and he smiled as he rolled closer to Meredith, propping himself up on his elbow. He gazed down at her, love obvious in his eyes. Her breathing was slow and steady, and her eyelashes curled perfectly. Her lips were still slightly swollen from the heavy kisses they had exchanged last night. He kissed her shoulder softly, and he continued moving up towards her neck. When he reached a point right under her jaw she began to stir. He smiled and kissed her softly on the mouth and her eyes fluttered open. She blinked a few times as she looked at him before she smiled softly and brought his lips to hers. Pulling back he grinned.

"Good morning…." He murmured.

She chuckled a little, "Good morning." She said. She looked over at the clock and groaned.

"I have to get up." She said.

He was very disappointed to hear this, and he kissed her neck again.

"Mmmm… are you sure you have to get up…?" He mumbled between kisses.

She sighed happily, feeling butterflies in her stomach.

"As much as I hate it… I do." She rolled away from him and used her one hand to search on the floor for something to wear. The first thing she found was his shirt, so she slipped it on before throwing the covers off herself and getting up.

He sighed and picked his up his boxers from the floor, pulling them on one handed. He got up and walked over to where she was standing on her toes trying to reach the coffee on the shelf. He took it down and handed it to her.

"So when do you want to leave?" He asked her as she began to make the coffee.

"Um… I don't know, I think I'm going to leave in about thirty minutes or so. As soon as I get a cup of coffee in me and I'm showered. When are you leaving?" She asked.

"Well… I thought we were leaving together?" He asked her, clearly confused.

"Together?"

"Yeah…." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"We… we _are_ together… aren't we?" He asked her.

She opened her mouth to say something but she stopped.

"I… I think I'm going to take a shower now." She said quickly and she stepped past him, slamming the shower door. A couple seconds later his shirt flew over the top of the door.

He stared at the door for a few moments before he turned and began rummaging through his cupboards for some cereal.

Ten minutes later she stepped out of the shower, holding a towel over herself, the atmosphere tense between them. She padded over to his bed and began looking for her clothes, feeling his eyes following her every move. She picked up her dress and looked at it for a minute, before turning around to look at him.

"Do you… you wouldn't have anything I could wear… would you?" She asked him quietly.

He walked over to a drawer and pulled out a pair of dark blue scrubs.

"Addison left these here, said she didn't care, that she could just get new ones anytime she wanted. You can use them until we-… until you get there. You can get the lighter ones there." He said.

She took them from him and nodded her thanks. She donned them quickly and then went to pour herself a cup of coffee while he got in the shower. She sat on the counter drinking it. When she finished she looked at her watch and then at the shower door. She wondered if she should wait for him, but the mental picture of the Nurses and other Doctors faces flashed through her mind, and the words that Cristina would mutter rang through her head. She jumped off the counter and picked up her dress, shoes and keys and she left.

When Derek got out he heard the sound of a car engine, and he whipped his head around wildly looking for her, and when he didn't see her his shoulders slumped and he wearily dressed himself.

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Izzie entered the kitchen the next morning and saw George sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, and Callie making pancakes. George looked up and his eye brows raised a little bit in surprise when he saw her standing there.

"Hey Iz… do you want some breakfast, Callie's making pancakes." He said stating the obvious.

Izzie looked at Callie who was looking at her as she flipped the pancakes expertly.

"You cook?" She asked.

Callie paused before nodding.

"Yeah… my mom made me learn when I was younger. She kind of had this dream that I would be a straight A student, who was good at cooking, cleaning, keeping house, having kids, a family…. All she got was the straight A student and the good cook. She didn't really ask for the Orthopedic Surgeon who works crazy long hours, and can't always make it home for Christmas." She said.

Izzie smiled a little, a real genuine smile and walked over to the stove putting on an apron. Callie and George stared at her for a moment and when Izzie noticed this she smiled.

"I'm just cooking."

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Meredith slammed the door of her car and walked across the parking lot, looking in all directions trying to spot Derek's car. She finally saw it and her heart sunk.

"So he's here today." She murmured to herself.

"Who's here today?" Came a voice in her ear.

She jumped and screamed, turning around to look at him.

"Derek." She breathed.

"You scared me."

He smirked a little.

"So I see."

His face grew somber.

"You left this morning." He said, a trace of sadness in his voice, immediately making her feel guilty.

"I'm sorry. It's just… I started thinking about what everyone would think… and what Cristina would say and I just panicked and I left."

He frowned slightly.

"Why would you care what they think?" He asked.

"Because… because of our history, and the rumors and the panties. And Addison and you and me and Finn and… and you're…."

She suddenly felt as if she had been punched in the gut.

"You're married…. And last night…. Oh God, you, I, we… you cheated on your wife again last night!" She said horrified with herself, and with them.

His eyes widened and he made to grab her arm.

"No, Meredith, I swear I didn't! Please, let me explain!"

She pulled free and walked inside the hospital. She heard him right behind her so she quickened her steps until she saw Cristina and she began walking with her.

"Mer, please, let me explain. I didn't…." Derek said, breathing heavily as he finally caught up with her.

She looked at him for a moment and his heart nearly broke when he saw her face.

She really truly believed that she had become the dirty mistress yet again and it was tearing her up inside.

Cristina looked between them. She didn't know what was going on, but she knew it couldn't be good. She grabbed Meredith's arm and dragged her away, shooting daggers at Derek.

_A/N: I wanted this chapter to be longer. But this seemed like a good place to stop it. I plan to go back to my new and improved SUPER LONG ONES, full of plot lines and humor and drama and specialness during the week lol. _

_Anway. Not much to say here. Izzie is up again. She's slowly getting back into the swing of things. But it's a long, slow, careful process. It'll all work out though. And Meredith and Derek. I didn't plan for them to have a bump in the road this early. I just started typing and these words started forming. And I kind of like it lol. Don't worry, this is only happening because of the insecurities she mentioned, and because she doesn't know that he and Addie are done. When she went to see him she was only thinking about giving him an answer as to what everything meant, and just about moving forward. Being with her McDreamy. _

_If you have any questions, comments, or ideas please leave them in a review or PM if you can't review. But if you don't have any, please review anyway:) _

_Thanks for reading!_

_MeredithGreyPotter1_


	16. And As Everything Unfolds

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. I'm not sure if this is good or bad. It's bad because I don't get to work with the cast and crew. I don't get to make millions. I don't get to have a claim to fame. But it's good also. Mainly for Isaiah Washington. I like him playing Burke, I really do, but I seriously want to give him a piece of my mind. I seriously! Just shut up already! I agree with Katherine Heigl all the way. Ok, more of an AN rather than a disclaimer, but you get the point.**

Derek watched as Cristina took Meredith away, and it was obvious from behind that she was trying to comfort her. He sighed and half-heartedly returned the greeting that a few co-workers gave him as he made his way to the elevator. He had rounds in fifteen minutes and all he could do was hope that she would be there. He wondered if he could request her but he had high doubts that Bailey would do so. Since he himself couldn't perform surgeries she might suspect that the request involved something personal, and even though Bailey stated it every chance she got that she didn't like her suck ups, everyone knew that she was extremely protective of her suck ups.

He got off the elevator and walked down the hall to his office and he caught a glimpse of Meredith as she ducked into the locker room. He got in his office, shut the door and sank into his chair with a groan. He rubbed his eyes slowly with his good hand when he heard a knock at his door.

"Come in." He mumbled and he heard a creak as the door swung open.

"Well, there you are." Came a cheery voice. "We've been looking for you everywhere, Richard wanted to see you, I think it was something about the hand."

He didn't look up and he heard footsteps walk across the room and then he heard a flick as his shades were drawn.

"That's much better, it was so dark in here before."

He sighed and looked up.

"Addison, not now." He said.

She arched an eyebrow and looked at him, hand on her hip.

"Derek, what's the matter?"

Sighing he placed his head in his hands. "Meredith. Meredith is the matter." He said quietly. Addison stiffened at this but she was surprised that this didn't hurt as badly as she thought it might and she kept her smile on her face. "Oh, Derek, I'm sure she'll come around." She said.

"No, she won't she's…." He exhaled deeply before looking up at her. "What did you need?" He asked. She paused before deciding to drop the subject, at least for now. "Well, I came here for two things actually. Saturday is no good for me, it turns out that Adele wants to take me out to lunch and well I couldn't say no. Mainly because he's my bosses wife. And that Café she's planning on taking me too does look… quant." She said, leaning on his desk. "So. Are you free tonight?" He shot her a look and she rolled her eyes. "To go to the mediator. I called my lawyers and they can have some draft papers drawn up within the hour, all we need to do is show up at four so they have time to make whatever changes we need." She said, looking at her pager. He thought for a minute before replying. "Yeah… sure, whatever I'll be there." He said and she smiled. "Good." Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Oh, I… sorry to interrupt Dr. Shepherd… I'll just wait out in the hall." The door shut quickly. Addison looked at Derek. "You might want to get that. See you later." She strode across the floor and opened the door and nodded to the person on her left.

"Dr. Grey."

"Dr. Shepherd." Meredith replied, clearly nervous. Addison stopped and smiled a small bittersweet smile. "Actually Grey, it's going to be Dr. Montgomery from now on. My husband and I are going to sign the papers this afternoon." She stepped closer and lowered her voice. "So you might want to give him a chance to explain whatever it is he's done this time." She said and gave her and awkward pat on the shoulder before walking away. Meredith stood there stunned at what she had just been told and at Addison's actions. She turned around and reopened the door to Derek's office and stepped quietly inside. She looked around before she saw him standing by one of his windows, looking at the ground below and she wondered for a brief moment if he even knew she was in the room. She cleared her throat and he turned around. He looked at her for a minute before he drew his blinds shut again. He began to pace, stopping every now and then to look at her. Finally he opened his mouth.

"It's just… God, how could you think…." Suddenly he was across the room and he had her pinned between him self and the door.

"How could you think I would do that to you? Again?" He asked, dark blue eyes boring into her green ones. "Damn it Meredith, if you think that this is just – just a fling, that I enjoy looking for excuses to cheat on my wife-" She cut him off.

"I don't! It's just… you're not even divorced. And last night, was-"

"Wonderful!"

"A mistake." She said softly and he instantly pulled back from her, hurt showing in his eyes. "Meredith, how can you call it a mistake when you were the one that showed up in the first place!? Were you just looking for another one night stand?!" He shot at her.

"We both know that's all it ever should have been in the first place!" She shouted. She instantly regretted it as she saw him step away from her and retreat to his desk.

"Derek, I didn't mean it." She said stepping closer, cursing herself for saying anything at all, even earlier that morning. "Derek…." She stopped when she stood next to him and she hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder and she bit back her tears when he flinched and shrunk away.

"Nice talking with you Dr. Grey." He said in a low voice.

"Derek-"

"It's Dr. Shepherd to you." He bit out at her. "Now if you don't need anything else, I suggest you leave and get back to your rounds." He snapped and turned away from her.

She swallowed. "Actually Der- Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Bailey assigned me to you today, so…." She trailed off quietly as she stood there.

"Go with Dr. Sloan, I'm sure he'll be able to keep you… occupied." He said sharply.

"He's um… he's not in today. His jaw, Dr. Webber said that it wouldn't look good if he came in and his patients saw him like that. Being a plastic surgeon…."

"Then just get out. Get out, go and find whoever, whatever. Just go." He said, his voice rising slightly.

Meredith turned on her heel rapidly, blinking back her tears and quickly left his office. She found Bailey standing by the desk and she cleared her throat.

"Um, Dr. Bailey, Dr. Shepherd said… he said he has no use… he said he doesn't need an intern today since he's not going into surgery."

Bailey looked down at her charts, scanning them. "And?"

"And?" Meredith asked.

Bailey looked up.

"And? What you think that just because Shepherd's deciding to mope around like some little boy who's been told he can't have the king size candy bar, that I'm going to reassign you?" She asked, slightly sarcastic.

"I was hoping." Meredith said quickly.

Bailey gave her a look.

"Look Grey, I know that Shepherd usually has his charm on, so when he's in a bad mood it's usually as bad as the way he handles his life, especially his love life, but every other service is full. We even have too many interns in the pit, so unless you can find yourself some other way to amuse yourself, you're going to have to stick it out." Bailey said, apologetic, but still firm before walking away.

Meredith stood there for a minute before sighing and working her way back to Derek's office.

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Izzie sat on her bed, looking around the room blankly, wiggling her toes and she let out a sigh. There was no doubt about it, she was bored. She thought of things she could do to amuse herself. Her mind wandered to the marathon games of scrabble she used to play with Denny when he was… in the hospital. How it usually wound up being dirty and how they would both let the other one win on purpose. Back and forth back and forth. A soft smile grew on her lips and they began to tremble slightly as she held back her tears, remembering….

_Flashback_

"_Denny!"_

"_What? I spelled it right, it's a real word. You just don't like that it's a triple word score and that I thought of it sooner." Denny said, smiling._

_Izzie laughed and wiped his pieces from the board. "We are not using THAT word!" She insisted, holding back her laughter as she tried to keep a straight face. "You can use any word but that." She said and he instantly perked up. She quickly corrected herself. "_Almost_ any word." She said and he frowned at her before looking through his letters again._

_Izzie smiled at him before she began looking through her own. She randomly rearranged the letters until suddenly she realized what letters she had._

_D – E – N – N – Y_

"_Hello? Earth to Isobel Stevens?" Denny said, waving his arm in front of her face._

_She snapped out of her stupor and she looked at him._

"_What?"_

_He motioned to the board where he had spelt out his word._

"_Wow. Is that the best you could do?" She teased him playfully as she wrote down his score._

"_Well, you took away my first choice." He said._

_She looked to the spot where the pile of letters had lain. "Oh, no more letters…" She said. She took their score and grinned._

"_You win!"_

_He smiled. "And you're supposed to be the smart doctor." He laughed and Izzie laughed with him as the score sheet fell to the floor. _

Izzie – 420

Denny – 410

_End Flashback._

Izzie heaved a sigh and wiped away a few tears. "God I miss him…." She whispered to herself, hearing her voice break a little. It was true. She constantly felt this ache. In her chest, in her stomach, in her head… everywhere. She slowly got off the bed and walked to her dresser.She moved her hand to open a drawer, but it lingered there. She slowly touched the cool metal of the handle and began to pull it open. She held her breath as she looked at the maroon sweater that lay atop all her things. She ran a finger along the sweater and slowly fingered the imperfections. Except there were none. Because this was his sweater. Denny's sweater. And as long as he had worn it, it would always be perfect to her. She picked it up and slowly inhaled, tears coming to her eyes. "It still smells like him." She thought before she pulled it over her head.

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Mark was in his hotel room. He had just emailed the interior decorator he had hired to work on his new condo that he had bought in Seattle. Apparently under the piles of wall paper that had been put on the walls by the previous owner, the walls were slightly rotted. Did the landlord want to pay for it? Of course not.

He took a sip of his double scotch single malt through his straw and looked disgusted with himself. He was Mark Sloan. He slept with gorgeous women wherever he could find them. He performed surgery on sometimes shallow as hell people and then he went home, had a drink or two and the cycle started all over again. He didn't get denied by the woman that he said he loved, he didn't decide to not sleep with anyone just because he couldn't have her, he didn't get punched, he didn't get a broken jaw because of the punch, and he most definitely did **not** drink scotch through a **straw**.

"On the other hand…." He thought to himself with the biggest smile that he was allowed to crack on his face.

He definitely had succeeded in making Derek jealous. People were talking about him and Meredith now it was the biggest piece of gossip aside from Dr. Burke and his hand. He took another sip of his scotch.

Addison was getting a divorce. At least that's what the rumors had been. And if this was true his plan was definitely paying off.

He grabbed the scotch bottle and clinked his glass against it in a toast.

"You've really outdone yourself Sloan." He thought to himself.

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Meredith stood pacing in front of the door to Derek's office. She'd been there all morning, for a good five hours at least. Sighing she looked at her watch. She didn't want to go in, so she waited for him to come out. Little did she know that Derek could survive the whole day in one spot as long as he had a few basic essentials. She spotted Cristina over at the desk and whispered her name furiously.

"Cristina! Cristina!"

Cristina looked around her confused.

"Over here!" Meredith whispered again.

Cristina looked behind her before shaking her head and walking over to Meredith.

"What've you done this time?" She asked. Meredith faltered.

"What? Nothing! I haven't done anything, Derek's been acting like a jerk all day."

Cristina snorted.

"Mer, Shepherd doesn't usually act like a jackass. At least no more than usual unless he's seriously pissed off. And lately you and your McEscapades have been the only thing to make him go ballistic. So what'd you do?"

Meredith sighed and leaned against the door.

"I… last night I went on a date with Finn. But I just kept thinking that he's not Derek you know? And Finn… he said he could tell. So we ended it. I went to Derek's and we… you know-"

"Did the nasty." Cristina supplied. Meredith looked around quickly before nodding.

"Yeah. The nasty. And we woke up, he asked if we were together, I couldn't answer him I showered, he showered I left."

"Without telling him?" Cristina asked, her eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Yeah." Meredith nodded and Cristina let out a laugh.

"Oh Mer, what have you done. So that explains the whole scene in the lobby this morning." She said.

"Yeah."

"Ok. That explains you. Now what about him?" Cristina asked. Meredith looked at her before sighing.

"I may have… I said that last night was a mistake. That we never should have even happened in the first place." She said quietly.

Cristina gave her a look.

"Seriously? You actually said to the guy that's-"

"I know, I know." Meredith groaned as she cut Cristina off.

Suddenly the door opened and Meredith went falling backwards. She waited to hit the floor but instead she fell against a softer wall. She looked up and Derek gazed down at her. His arms were wrapped protectively around her to keep her from falling and she seemed to be cradled against his chest. They stared at each other for a few more moments before she tore her gaze from him and quickly pulled away.

"Sorry… Dr. Shepherd." She said softly, looking at the floor.

He held back his frustrated sigh before nodding and walking away. It took Meredith and Cristina awhile to realize that he was wearing his regular clothes and he had his briefcase with him.

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Addison sat in her car in the parking lot outside the lawyer's office. She was dreading this. She knew that she had asked for the divorce and she knew she needed the divorce that _they_ needed the divorce, but without the divorce she never had to address the fact that she had stayed with Mark after Derek left. She wasn't really looking forward to what his reaction would be. It was bad enough whenever Mark's name was mentioned and even worse when he came to Seattle. And obviously even worse when Mark was seen with Meredith.

"_His_ Meredith." She thought to herself. She sighed and took out her compact and retouched her makeup before she opened her door and placed one stiletto heel clad foot on the ground.

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**AN: Hey there! First, I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. At the time of the last update I was sick so I was waiting to get better. I did, but then the holidays came around. So then I had to wait for that. Then writers block comes. THEN my eye decides to swell up because of some sort of allergy. I was basically handicapped for two days and that made me cranky so I decided not to write. Then I started to write, but I didn't like a piece of what I had written. So I had to go back and rewrite.**

**So sorry it took so long. Anyway, hope you all had a happy new year and a Merry Christmas or a Happy Hanukkah, etc. :)**

**I was going to include more with this update. I really was. But I decided to save it for later. I need to think about how I want to write it. Don't worry it'll hopefully be up soon. **

**Hmm…. I think this chapter is fairly easy to understand. But if you have any questions or comments etc. PM me and let me know!**

**And as always PLEASE review, I've been kind of hungry for them lately.**

**Take care, **

**MeredithGreyPotter1**


	17. They're Perfect

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's. Because I know how stressful it is for us fans, especially Merder shippers to worry about whether she would live or not, whether THEY would live. So I would never have thrown her into the water. I would never have had Izzie say what she did about Callie to George. Dylan and Denny and Doc would still be around. See, major changes. That don't exist. SO clearly, I don't own.**_

Addison sat in the swivel chair in the lawyer's office tapping her foot against the floor impatient.

"Damn it, Derek, where are you?" She murmured under her breath, checking her Cartier watch and absentmindedly flipping her phone open and closing it over and over again.

"Excuse me, Dr. Shepherd?" Someone addressed her and it took her a minute to look at them.

"Oh sorry. Yes?"

"Would you like us to call… your um…."

Addison raised an eyebrow at the young secretary. She was clearly new, at least to working in this kind of office and wasn't quite sure how to refer to her soon to be ex-husband. Addison flashed the girl a wry smile.

"No thank you. I'll do it myself." She flipped her phone open again and dialed before putting the phone to her ear. She listened to the ringing waiting for him to pick up.

"Shepherd here." His voice came across the speaker. She held her breath for a minute before clearing her throat.

"Derek, where are you?" She asked, growing slightly angry.

"Oh Addison. I'm sorry, I left the hospital about fifteen minutes ago. I should be almost there."

She sighed.

"Derek, I've been waiting here for the past forty-five minutes, how much longer do you expect me to wait?" She asked.

"Well you've managed to wait eleven years for the divorce, I don't think a few minutes more will kill you unless you're that eager to have your name back." He replied shortly.

She inhaled sharply hurt by his words.

"I'm not…. I'm not the one who wants this divorce Derek." She said, hearing a miniscule voice somewhere in her head tell her differently. There was a pause on the other end of the line before he responded. "Maybe not, but you're the one who asked for it."

"Just get here quickly." She snapped before slamming her phone shut. She sighed as she swiveled in the chair, smiling a little. She wasn't sure why she was smiling. Maybe it was the fact that she had just turned "round and round" in a chair as if she were a small child. Maybe it was a bitter smile because she was finally ending her marriage, be damned with the "till death do us part" crap. She didn't know. Tears sprang to her eyes. She'd cried before over ending her marriage but that had been over losing the marriage, losing Derek. Now she cried because she was losing herself. She didn't know how to be alone. She had been Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd for the past eleven nearly twelve years. She had always been dating on and off in college and med school. In high school she had had one steady boyfriend but they'd broken up because they were going to different schools. And then one day she'd met this incredible, charming, cocky, arrogant, funny, caring, sexy as all hell man. And she sincerely enjoyed being around him. She thought she had fallen in love with him. They had so much in common and not just the interest in surgery. And now she was losing him and she was going to be Addison Forbes Montgomery. She didn't know how to do this. She didn't know how to be that person. Because that person had been young, and happy and smart and careful. She hadn't slept with other men even if the man in her life was absent. Truth be told Addison resented her old self. Because she thought her to be better than what she had become. As she sat there absorbed in her thoughts the door flew open and she looked up startled. Derek stood in the door way, disheveled and breathless. He had obviously run there from the parking lot at least. She laughed at him and he shot her a little glare before giving in to a smile as he sat down in the chair. They looked at each other for a moment and even when the mediator sat down in the chair they didn't break away. Finally she sighed and said, "Lets get this divorce started."

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Derek and Addison had left the building together before saying good bye and heading to their separate cars. They'd divided up the property, CDs, books, antique vases and every other thing that they owned with almost no quarrel. Derek had the sneaking suspicion that Addison had wanted to tell him something but he ignored it. He got into his car and drove back to the hospital. He walked through the doors and for the first time he felt… there wasn't really a word for it. He was walking through those doors for the first time as an unmarried man. He was free. A smile spread across his face and he nodded to several nurses and other doctors and they stared at him speechless. This was not the Dr. Shepherd they remembered from this morning.

He took the elevator up to his floor and stepped off. Meredith. He had to find her. He stepped off and began to look around. He would have to talk to her about the fight this morning, about the words but right now he had an indescribable ache in his chest because she wasn't in his sight let alone anywhere near him. He walked the winding halls on the surgical floor quickly, whipping his head in every direction, the ache in his chest worsening as he couldn't find her. He saw George, Alex, even Cristina, but Meredith was no where in sight. Panic filled his eyes and his quick, long strides became shorter, darting steps.

He rounded another corner when he finally saw her coming down from one of the OR galleries. She looked… beautiful and breathtaking of course, but she also looked numb and tired, full of regret. She looked up and stopped when her eyes met his. Relief filled him and his breathing returned to regular, something he hadn't even noticed had been irregular. The ache in his chest lessened but it didn't disappear completely and he had a feeling it wouldn't until he held her tightly in his arms and he was pressing kisses to every part of her body.

She stepped down the last few steps and she stopped again for a moment before they both look long sweeping steps to meet each other. In an instant his arms were around her, crushing her to his chest. He pressed his mouth to the top of her head and got a brief scent of lavender. He heard her muffled apologies but he shook his head and stroked her hair lightly, not lessening his grip on her in any way, shape or form. He pulled her head back from his neck though when he felt something wet fall upon it. She had tears in her eyes and her lip was trembling. She opened her mouth to speak.

"Derek, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, we're-we're-we're not a mistake." She managed to get out, struggling to keep control and to not lose control in the hallway.

"We're… us and we're perfect and wonderful and so many things but never a mistake. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She said as the tears increased.

He had been smiling a little when she called them perfect but it quickly dropped when he saw how close she was to losing it. He steered her back to his office and he locked the door when she finally gave in to the sobs of regret. He went to his chair and pulled her into his lap, cradling her against him as he let her cry, trying to calm her. After her tears subsided her hand held tight to his coat which he still hadn't taken off. They sat in silence for a few moments before she lifted her head to look at him. He wiped away the remaining tears and cupped her face as he began to speak in a low, calm, reassuring voice.

"Meredith, listen to me. You're right. We're not a mistake. We're us, and we're perfect. But you don't have anything to be sorry for."

She looked confused and he sighed.

"This morning… you're right. By law I was still a married man. I _was_." He said and he let the word hang in the air, waiting for the impact of his words to hit her. She stared blankly at him before she let out a soft gasp and her eyes widened.

"Derek… you are… you and Addison?" She stumbled over her words trying to make sense of the situation.

He smiled as he gently stroked her cheek. "Addison and I just signed the-"

And that was all he managed to get out before her lips were against his, hard and insistent. He kissed her back just as urgently and he pulled her hair free from its tie and threaded his fingers through her hair. She broke the kiss for a moment.

"Is the door locked?" She mumbled and he nodded as his mouth moved to her neck and he sucked softly on the exposed skin. She raked her fingers through his hair and she let out a soft scream as his teeth grazed her neck going lower and lower. He slipped his hand up her scrub top and he brushed it against her stomach before raising it higher. She moaned his name and he stood up taking her with him. He winced slightly as he put too much pressure on his hand but he didn't care. This was them. They were perfect. He'd be damned if he let his stupid hand stop him from throwing the woman he loved down on his desk and making her scream until she couldn't breathe.

And he did just that.

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"Derek!" She screamed as he bit down on her neck before thrusting one last time and collapsing against her. Both of them were breathing heavily after they had finished yet another round. They had had glorious make up sex the first time, followed almost immediately by celebration sex and since then it had just been… sex. Wonderful, mind blowing sex, but with no other labels. Meredith had tried to leave after the second round but he had pinned her to the door, claiming that she was his intern for the day and it was her duty to assist him where necessary.

His breathing slowed a bit and he stepped away from her and she slid down from her spot in the corner. Her took her in his arms and they went over to the couch that he had in his office and they lay there in a pleasant silence.

"Derek?" She whispered.

"Mmm…" He murmured kissing her shoulder softly and trailing a path up her neck.

She bit her lip to hold back a soft moan. "Derek…we should um… we… clothes."

He smirked against her skin. "But I don't want to…." He said against her soft neck. His hand began to trace lazy circles on her thigh and it moved upward gradually. She sighed softly content. "Derek we really should… we could go continue this at- oh God." She cried out as he moved his hand to a sensitive spot. She wanted this to go on, she really did but it was getting late and they had to get home.

They. They had to get home. She had thought of it as their home, she hadn't thought my place or his place. And then she realized it was because wherever he was… wherever he was, _was_ home.

She slapped at his wandering hand and he frowned at her. She laughed before kissing him.

"Later. Definitely later." She promised.

His frown didn't go away and she sighed.

"The sooner we get dressed and home the sooner we can continue this."

His eyes lit up and his face became alert before he jumped up and pulled her with him, dragging her to the corner where their clothes were.

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_**AN: So. This was fairly short. Especially short for how long I've made you wait. And you guys know I'm sorry. What can I say. Real live sucks. Big time. **_

_**This chapter was basically just some Merder fluff. 'Cause with that story arc that we just had and with no new episode till next week… I'm kind of starving for Merder in general, not just fluff. Stuff where Meredith ISN'T in danger of dying. And it was also just a way to finally get Derek divorced from Addison, a free man. And it was the beginning of a new Addison. The not so confident one. Addison is going to go through some major changes. **_

_**None of the other characters were in this chapter because there's only so much I can do with a broken jawed Mark. George and Callie… I gotta think about them. I had a scene semi-planned but I decided against it for now. And Burke and Cristina, you know my deal on them. But they'll probably make an appearance soon. Alex and Izzie… Next chapter. **_

_**Also next chapter there will be a slight jump in time. So that I can get Mark back into the story. Don't know quite how far I'm going to go yet, but I'll let you know.**_

**_Thanks for reading! Once again I'm so sorry for the long wait. Please review… I'm not going to use them as bribes… all I can say is that I got a nice review the other day and it kind of motivated me to update this. Because it let me know that people were still reading._**

_**Ok, I'm done. LOL.**_

_**-Meredith**_


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